My mother 's dementia is getting worst. Along with Sundowning everyday at the same time she wants to know when does she get to go home. The home she lives in now, she has been there for over 60 years. After I tell her this is her home she will eventually start crying and saying no one cares about her now and never did. This happen every day at about the same time. Her Dr increased her depression meds. I am at a lost. My brother and I are going into our 7th year with her. Is it time to move into a nursing home? Trying hard to prevent that.
I believe with dementia, you need to say what is a comfort and not what is "correct".
I think reassuring her that she is safe will help.
Tell her you are with her, you will stay with her and make sure she is safe and cared for.
Do just as she did when you were a child because that is probably what her mom did for her. If she rubbed your back while you went to sleep, do that. If she held your hand or sang you a song, do that. If she read you a story until you fell asleep, do that.
Tell her that you love her and will be there for her when ever she needs you.
Memory Care facility..you come to that decision when it is no longer safe for her to be cared for at home. By that I mean if you can not care for her safely you do not want her inured nor do you want to injure yourself. That would have been the only thing that would have made me make the decision to place my Husband. Luckily with the help of Hospice he was able to remain at home. For 3 years I had Hospice I got the education I needed, the support and equipment I needed to care for him safely. If you do not have Hospice in you might want to make a call and have her evaluated.
All you can do is use "theraputic fibs" with Mom. I had to do that with my own Mom [98] any time she asked to go home. Told her that her parents were visiting the old country and will be back in a couple of weeks. Told her that her sister was at work right now. Told her that her other sister and her husband were on vacation. All these "fibs" worked. Mom was not upset, and it was a relief to me. Rinse. Repeat the next day.
Every evening my Dad would climb into his time machine and transport back to the 1940's. At first it was confusing, but eventually I learned to go along. Dad would call me saying he was running late as he was at a meeting, so he missed his bus to get home, so he will stay at the hotel. Well, the last time Dad took a bus to work was in the 1940's, and the hotel he was stating at was actually his Memory Care facility.
It is so sad when we see our parent(s) going into this phase.