I cannot clean house, laundry, cook, shower alone. Have been ignored and neglected by 47 year old son and D in Law for past 3 years. They moved me here from another state.. so they could help take care of me supposedly. Have fallen many times, I have called 911 more times than I want to think about. No friends in this state, church people have not called since I had to quit driving 2 years ago. Chronic osteoarthritis pain. Neuropathy.
Gdaughter comes on Sunday to bring my weeks worth of mail, I can't get to mailbox . Her total time here is 15 minutes. I rent this house from son but he complains I don't pay entire mortgage! I have limited retirement income, pay all utilities. Have to pay for groceries delivered. I don't know how to get help when I can't afford it. Really depressed.
Medicaid has " in home" care. They can provide u with an aide and transportation. They may also become ur suppliment health insurance. In my State, they provide dental, vision and prescriptions. If you can get into a HUD apt complex, they require 30% of your income for rent.
No one else but u can make that call.
Much of your care ongoing would depend on the amount of money you have saved for this time. Without it there is medicaid and the state to help once you have "spent down" to the amount they allow you to keep.
Let your family gently know that your needs have now gone beyond what they can supply and that you feel yourself a burden upon their lives. Ask them to help you explore how you can best find placement to care for your needs. If they are unable tell your primary doctor of what is going on and ask for Social Services help to arrange either in home help if that is adequate to current needs or placement in facility.
I surely do wish you the very best and an so very sorry about the problems you suffer with.
You can contact the area on aging, also called your county name council on aging. ie maricopa county council on aging. Easily found through Google search.
You will qualify for transportation through the local transportation department. They will send you an application and get you set up.
If you aren't able to cook, clean, do laundry, how are you surviving?
Are you getting meals on wheels?
You say you can't get to the mail box, can you safely exit the house in the event of a fire?
I would seek handicapped housing when you speak with the aging counsil. That would give you a home designed to accommodate wheelchair living. You would also be living around others that have physical challenges and you can find some support.
I truly hope you are getting treated for your osteoporosis, it is completely treatable and I think it is insane that it would be left untreated, especially since a fall can cause a broken hip, which can easily lead to pneumonia, which could end in death. It just bothers me to see that as an issue when it doesn't have to be. It shows up all the time on the forum.
Unfortunately your family has made it clear that you are on your own. Fortunately you will be able to get lots of help when you contact the area on aging.
Best of luck.
I am sorry that you didn't get good treatment.
I stand by what I said with the edit, if you have a good doctor it is easily treatable.
I had treatment for a couple of years and then I no longer qualified for treatment because my bone density was so high.
Unfortunately, many doctors never check bone density until it is far advanced and then it is a long process but, it is still treatable with a competent doctor.
Sometimes it takes quite a bit of reaching out until the help you need is found. But keep going. You mentioned church people? Do you have a Pastor/Priest/Rabbi? Ask about counselling/advice.
Book a doctor's visit (a long telehealth visit) for same. See if you can find a trusted person to confide in & explore what you really want & need. Then to find the next step.
That may be a Social Work service or similar to help navigate your options. Sometimes there are Advocates or Care Managers in this field too.
It can feel overwhelming but taking the first step may be the hardest.
As a new mother I think I had hoped my husband or family could help with everything I needed. It wasn't so. I had to cast my net wider, involve health nurses & daycare.
I think this is where you are with your son. He can't meet all your needs. You can't change him but that doesn't mean going without. Find non-family help you need instead.
Best of luck for your new future.
That said, the advice to contact the agency on aging is a good one ShiGri50, you need to find out what kind of supports are available to you and how to go about finding, paying for, and moving to a place where your needs can be met.
If you feel unsafe then please call 911.
Second, quit pretending that he's going to come over every day. if you have been suggesting that. If there is an inheritance, then that's first for your own care.
You're lucid, so this is why I'm talking to you directly. Just because you birthed him doesn't mean that he necessarily feels the same obligation toward you. And as you are lucid, you are in the most advantageous position to figure out what the senior living care that is within your means entails, or Medicaid.