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It was somewhat the same thing with my grandmother in the 3 yrs before she went to the NH. Mom would get her something and she would eat a few bites of it before putting it aside or put in on the floor for one of her cats to eat.

As was the case with my grandmother, it could potentially be dementia or Alzheimer's at work.
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Cally2024 Sep 23, 2024
Her mind is actually really pretty good. She's no more confused or forgetful than I am
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Cally, does she qualify for food stamps (SNAP)? That would at least help your family budget.
The food banks in my area have no income thresholds so that might be something to check into to help your budget.
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Brandee again--Can you sign her up for meals on wheels? In my town they deliver one hot meal a day at lunch. It is very popular in my area. I go to my senior center for exercises and they serve the same meals for lunch as the meals on wheels meals and they look and smell pretty good. We usually get 30-40 seniors filling up the tables each day.
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Cally, I have read all the posts and your responses, I would start taking pictures of what you serve your mom and what she wastes, then I would tell her that you are tired of the threats and you are going to call APS and ask for help to have her placed somewhere that she can be taken care of since she, obviously, doesn't think you are doing a good enough job of it.

I am just curious why you haven't told her to stuff her nasty threats and why you put up with someone that is all there, according to you, threatening your very freedom, because senior abuse is taken seriously and she is risking your life with her lies. Grow up and tell her that her free ride has just ended and her hateful a$$ is going to be placed for her own well-being and your life.
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Stop doing it as it clearly isn’t working. Who cares if she throws a temper tantrum or whatever you are afraid will happen.
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Having read your replies, including the fact that your mum doesn't have dementia, I think you should tell your mum that you have neither the money nor the time to make her different meals. Either she eats what you cook, or she goes into alternative accommodation.

If there is nothing wrong with your mum - she's just old, but an adult nevertheless - then she should understand that you're not there to wait on her. She's lucky you are looking after her at all.

If your mum continues to make your life miserable, then you should part ways. There is no good reason to make your life worse for the sake of hers.
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Dont cook in teflon pans or using plastic utensils. Serve smaller portions. Freeze food and reheat without using a microwave, make sure its sealed air tight when you put it in the freezer. Dont tell her you are reheating it, if you get busted tell her its a frozen dinner from costco or something. Older people have lots of quirks. If she knows why she wont eat the food then she isnt telling you because she dosnt want to hurt your feelings or offend you. But she may not know why... Also try serving ginger to clear her pallet before a meal and it will also calm a tummy. And lastly try increasing or decreasing flavor. Ask her how to cook things or for her recipies. Make sure you dont over cook meats. Overcooked meats are awful. When she does eat something ask her what she liked about it. This might clue you in as to why she doesnt eat other items.
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MargaretMcKen Oct 31, 2024
Probably NOT "doesn't want to hurt your feelings or offend you". More likely a control freak.
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This is a September post
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Eighty four and no dementia asking for food every twenty minutes. Momma has you trained.

Stop the madness. No one gets snacks every twenty minutes not even kids.

Keep a steady supply of crackers and canned soups, and tuna, luncheon meat. Meals would be three times a day. If she decides to complain and feed it to the dog, that's on her.

Telling and threatening you are mean and she is going to tell everyone you are mean, I would find a nice place where she could live. Mom is not in charge of your home. You are in charge. It is not elder abuse to take a stand.

I spent $300.00 dollars on groceries for myself and I still don't have everything in the house that I need. Sure, it's easy to holler you want to eat every twenty minutes when you are not footing the bill.

Who listens to Teepa Snow. I'm with Burnt on this one. Send Teepa the bill. While you're at it, I'll include my bill also! LOL
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