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She is normal and wants to live on her own. She has been diagnosed with bipolar but says she doesn't believe that. She argues with everyone. She calls taxis to take her places.She has been baker acted 4 times.
Unless you have guardianship there isn't likely a lot that you can do.
As was mentioned, so much depends on your mother's other capabilities. If she was in assisted living, I would assume that she has some other health issues. If she was just in retirement living, then that's different. Either way,though, you'll need the help of a doctor, and it doesn't sound as if she'll cooperate.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do but let her do what she wants and see what happens.
You mention the Baker Act which, if I understand it right, would involve medical people in a metal health facility. Perhaps they can help you, however unless you have the legal papers to allow you access to her medical records, you may not get far there, either.
You're in a terrible spot but you may not be able to control what happens. If your mother leaves AL and ends up in trouble again, perhaps you can find assistance during that time.
Far too many people with mental health issues don't get the help that they need. The flip side of that is that people need to be protected from those who would abuse them by saying that they are mentally ill (this is not you - I'm just mentioning this as one reason that there are constraints on what we can do for another adult).
I Power Of Attorney for health care would assist you here, but you didn't mention having that. If you do, you'll at least be able to access her health records and perhaps get the advice of one of her past doctors.
We're here to listen to you even if we can't do a lot more. Please update us when you can. Carol
It is very difficult to explain anything to a person with bipolar disorder. The more you try to help them, the farther down the rabbit hole you go with them. I agree with the rest. Many people live independently with this disorder. Depends what type she has, maybe you could check into it. And, of course, if she is on medication or even if she will take her meds when she is on her own. That is the key and a problem because without their meds, they will spiral.
Most, if not all, people with bipolar disorder have to have family or friends supporting them to navigate life. The ones I know with this disorder wear out their supporters frequently. As you've mentioned, this is pretty common behavior for your mom and indicates that she is either not diagnosed properly, which we know is difficult, or is not compliant in taking her meds., which we know is common. I'm assuming that having help with her meds was one of the reasons she was in AL to begin with. Also it is not uncommon, after awhile, for patients with bipolar to stop the meds because they don't feel they need them because they feel fine, which is Another catch 22 for family and friends. As she has the right to leave, I don't see that you have much of a choice in the matter UNLESS she is coming to your home. If she has her own home to go to and can manage for awhile on her own then it seems you must accept it. If she wants to move in with you, then that's a different problem. Your answer would depend on your own personal situation and responsibilities to other family members. One thing you can count on is that things will change. Something will happen that will give you an opportunity for yet another idea ( or force your hand) on how to help her. Perhaps the two of you could go to therapy for help in deciding what her ( and your ) next best step would be. If you could get her back on the meds, she'd probably be ready for the AL again, in about a month. Maybe not that long. It's a huge problem in our country and there are millions being affected. There are support groups. Ask her dr for one and be sure to let her medical team know the current events as it might help them treat her in the future. A big hug to you.
Why the in and out from ALFs? Has she left and then returned a few times?
Why is she in an ALF? As Thomas points out many persons with Bipolar Disorder live independently. Is she under a doctor's care for it? Does she have additional mental or cognitive problems? Why was the Baker Act invoked for her 4 times? Was her behavior out of control? Threatening harm to herself or others? What has happened each time after the 72 hours were up?
Has she been declared incompetent to make her own decisions by a court? Does she have a guardian?
What specific services does she need from AL? Meals prepared? Medication distribution? Activities? Why is it a problem that she takes a taxi places. Does she not come back promptly?
I don't know what I'd say to her, because I don't know what the situation is. Could you explain a little more?
Tina..it sounds like mom is in total denial that she even IS bipolar ..therefore isn't even on Meds ...I'm on this road with my mom..she has two personalities that she flips back and forth to...no one believes me but my husband...they all think it's me...sometimes you feel like you're on an island all by yourself..I pray you get a professional to help you get this under control for your sanity and hers
Many people live independently with bipolar disorder. Listen to the Doctors. Research the Internet. Join a support group that specializes in this area. Good luck.
I must agree with everyone who says but people with bipolar can live normal lives. I knew someone years ago with it and even he live a normal life. I think we should know more about the situation in order to know What's really going on
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As was mentioned, so much depends on your mother's other capabilities. If she was in assisted living, I would assume that she has some other health issues. If she was just in retirement living, then that's different. Either way,though, you'll need the help of a doctor, and it doesn't sound as if she'll cooperate.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do but let her do what she wants and see what happens.
You mention the Baker Act which, if I understand it right, would involve medical people in a metal health facility. Perhaps they can help you, however unless you have the legal papers to allow you access to her medical records, you may not get far there, either.
You're in a terrible spot but you may not be able to control what happens. If your mother leaves AL and ends up in trouble again, perhaps you can find assistance during that time.
Far too many people with mental health issues don't get the help that they need. The flip side of that is that people need to be protected from those who would abuse them by saying that they are mentally ill (this is not you - I'm just mentioning this as one reason that there are constraints on what we can do for another adult).
I Power Of Attorney for health care would assist you here, but you didn't mention having that. If you do, you'll at least be able to access her health records and perhaps get the advice of one of her past doctors.
We're here to listen to you even if we can't do a lot more. Please update us when you can.
Carol
Why is she in an ALF? As Thomas points out many persons with Bipolar Disorder live independently. Is she under a doctor's care for it? Does she have additional mental or cognitive problems? Why was the Baker Act invoked for her 4 times? Was her behavior out of control? Threatening harm to herself or others? What has happened each time after the 72 hours were up?
Has she been declared incompetent to make her own decisions by a court? Does she have a guardian?
What specific services does she need from AL? Meals prepared? Medication distribution? Activities? Why is it a problem that she takes a taxi places. Does she not come back promptly?
I don't know what I'd say to her, because I don't know what the situation is. Could you explain a little more?