My mom calls several times a day. She is crying, upset, and keeps asking me to come get her and take her home. She uses hurtful words
( I know she doesn't mean) to try to get her way. She has been in a great assisted living facility for 6 weeks. But, she doesn't want to be there. She cant stay by herself due to her hallucinations and delusions. What do I tell her?
Sounds like Mom has some form of Dementia. You may never be able to make her understand why she can't go home. Just tell her for now, this is where she needs to be. You can discuss going home when the doctor says she is OK. Blame the doctor. Tell a little fib.
With my LO I told her that I was checking with the doctor. There was rehab to be completed, therapy in process, forms to completed, etc. Sometimes, certain things work, but, there are some people who do not accept things and there may not be any magic words that help them feel better or dissuade their anxiety. Eventually, they may forgot to ask those questions though. Explaining things that require thought processes didn't really work with my LO. With dementia someone is not really capable of processing information, reasoning or using good judgment.
"Why am I here? You are living in a safe, clean space and you have everything that you need here right here at home."
Someone on another thread wrote about her whiteboard solution and I thought it was fantastic. I can't remember the thread or the poster but maybe someone else will.