She refuses hospital care, has congenital heart failure, she's a fall risk, won't go to the doctor, won't let hospice or Home Care helper come in. She refuses EMS help when you call 911 because she can't breathe, won't give me POA. I'm at my wit's end. And Texas wont force you to put her in a nursing home.
It's like I'm hitting my head against the wall. Stubborn she is. I don't know what to do anymore. She hasn't been to a doctor or taken her meds since July 2018. She has been lying to me for a year about everything. Oh and she had a stroke in 2017. I live one hour away but I drive every day to help her out. What do I do ? Wait on the day I find her dead?
Unfortunately, with the situation being what it is, I think you will have to wait for your mother to be taken to the hospital in an emergency situation, then sent to rehab to recover. Once in rehab, THEY have to determine whether she's able to return to an independent living situation or not. If not, THEN you can get her placed in either Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing.
It sounds like she's living life on HER terms, however, and if that's her wish, then perhaps you should stop driving down to see her on a daily basis. Tell HER to call YOU if and when she needs help, and let it go at that. That may seem harsh, but I'm not sure you have any other choice, since I'm sure she would refuse in-home help. Many elders do not want to take meds, they don't want help, they don't want to prolong their lives, they just want to do what they want to do until they pass away. And there isn't much we can do to stop them. You can't save a person from herself, you know?
It's ridiculous that things work like this, but they do. The only way I was able to get my folks into an ALF was in this exact situation.
Wishing you the best of luck!!