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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I'm a little unclear as to what your specific question is, but if you want to know what I wish we'd done when my dad passed - I wish we'd made my mom allow him to eat whatever he wanted, sit up, go outside, go on drives, do whatever he wanted. My mom didn't let him do anything but lay in bed. She'd get mad at him for sitting up. He wanted Apple pie. She said there's no nutrition in that. I think when someone's dying if they still love chocolate- let them eat the whole box.
My dad didn't want to be alone when he died - he loved company. I promised him I would be with him all the way and I was. In fact I was the only one in the room with him when he died.
I told him I loved him and how special he was to me and how special he had made me feel all my life and how his love for his grandchildren would be eternally with them so he knew his legacy of love would live on.
He wasn't a particularly religious man but he wasn't sure what lie ahead. We talked about the room that would be prepared for him. I shall always remember him saying he hoped it had been bloody painted because he didn't want to start painting as soon as he got there - wherever 'there' was.
We talked of times gone by and I chose times where he had been amazing (which was pretty much all the time)
I held his hand and smoothed his back when he had pain. i did try to keep my voice soft and low but he said I sounded like I was in the doctors surgery or the dentist so we talked quite normally. I let him talk about his football team, his boxing days in the army, the time he spent as gunner to Winston Churchill, anything he wanted to talk about. I learned a lot about his younger life during those chats and I am just so glad I took the time to let his conversation ramble to places of his choosing
Just be there. I keep talking into my husband's ear so he can hear me. Just to say I love you. I am here with you all the way. I pray out loud prayers we used to say together. I hold his hand. "Do not be afraid. I am with you." And other quotes from Scripture.
I'm thinking you're asking what you say to the patient. Some people don't want to talk about it. Others will. One has to take a cue from the person...what they need to feel comfortable. Things I might say to my mom could be, "Well, mom, there's sure going to be loving family waiting to take your hand..." Or maybe, "If you beat me there, mom, be sure to watch for me. I'll be looking for you." Or maybe, "Mom, I'm going to miss you so MUCH until we meet again..."
Remember they're looking for reassurance. They are, as we will be, afraid.
I'm sorry. Losing a mom is rough. The sun never shines quite as brightly after that.
It may be a while for your mother, so just be there for her. I don't say much when people are dying. It is a good time for listening and talking to them. When someone is dying, they will let you know. Sitting in silence can be fine if they are tired. Trying to make conversation can be very tiring for someone who is near death. Knowing you are there is the important thing to them.
I wouldn't tell her that she isn't. I'd approach it more along the lines of, "Mom, we all are going to die. With cancer you are likely to die sooner. The medical team doesn't think it will be immediate. There are no signs that you are actively dying now. Let's cherish every hour we still have." If she wants to talk about serious matters, let her. Take this opportunity to tell her you love her, and that she has prepared you well to carry on. Name some specific things her love has changed in your life. Let her know she has made a difference in this world.
Diane12, I am so sorry, but if she is on Hospice, she is not expected to live more than six months. Have a long chat with the Hospice Nurse about what to expect in the near future.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I told him I loved him and how special he was to me and how special he had made me feel all my life and how his love for his grandchildren would be eternally with them so he knew his legacy of love would live on.
He wasn't a particularly religious man but he wasn't sure what lie ahead. We talked about the room that would be prepared for him. I shall always remember him saying he hoped it had been bloody painted because he didn't want to start painting as soon as he got there - wherever 'there' was.
We talked of times gone by and I chose times where he had been amazing (which was pretty much all the time)
I held his hand and smoothed his back when he had pain. i did try to keep my voice soft and low but he said I sounded like I was in the doctors surgery or the dentist so we talked quite normally. I let him talk about his football team, his boxing days in the army, the time he spent as gunner to Winston Churchill, anything he wanted to talk about. I learned a lot about his younger life during those chats and I am just so glad I took the time to let his conversation ramble to places of his choosing
Remember they're looking for reassurance. They are, as we will be, afraid.
I'm sorry. Losing a mom is rough. The sun never shines quite as brightly after that.