Caregiving can be such an overwhelming job. I did the 'tip of the iceberg' for my in-laws compared to others on this site. What do you wish your friends/family would ask you or say to you in support? What could they do that would be helpful for you?
I ask because a good friend is on this journey with her parents (Dad with ALZ) who live with her. How can I support her in a meaningful way?
Visit. Take cake, or nice cheese, or anyway special real food rather than booze or chocolates.
If circumstances allow - her father's not too ill, her mother's not too overwhelmed, you're able to do it without never, ever wanting to go near them again - offer to hold the fort if she needs to go out.
Avoid making too many "helpful suggestions"! Ask "would you like me to find out about x y z?" rather than leaping in with "there's this wonderful new gizmo/medication/facility I've heard all about - "
Just be there.
That you've already thought to ask about this incredibly important point makes me sure you are going to be a Grade A friend to your friend. Bless you and your kind.
Prepare casserole type food that can be used for multiple meals. Do nice fresh fruit salads.
Give your time on a consistent basis so she can go do something frivolous for herself.
Help her with her housework, get a group of ladies together, do a potluck lunch and deep clean her house for her a couple times a year.
Listen without judgment to her vent.
You are awesome for wanting to be a friend for someone facing a challenging time that usually leaves people standing alone. Hugs to you.
If you can in any way, help your friend. Be there for her at the end of the phone, bring her grocery shopping, help weed her garden, anything you can do for her if you can spare the time. Be there for her because as we know here, an awful lot of "friends" bail when we are forced to dedicate ourselves to elderly parents and aren't available to go out any more.
Ask your friend how she is, ask if she needs any help and if she does need help follow up on your request. If you can advise her on her parents please do. Be there for her on this long hard journey. We all know how hard it is to get support from friends and family on this journey and one good supportive friend means so much.
Recently my brother passed and there was a lot of emotional fall out over that. She's definitely going down hill and needs some help but it's expensive. But yes just call, show up and bring something. A meal, a card - money for an outing if possible. A plant and conversation.
See All Answers