The assisted living has a Covid outbreak. We received a message stating there are no cooks on staff tomorrow and families need to bring in meals and help with family.
My husband believes I should make large portions for people without families nearby.
What happens to the people with no families if I decide not to cook for them?
This facility your MIL is in really does sound like a total nightmare in every way. Why do they have NO plans in place to deal with a virus that's been with us for over 2.5 YEARS now?
I suggest you call over there right away and recommend they order take out food from local restaurants to feed their residents 3 meals a day. To have the families cooking food in their kitchens is unacceptable. They have no idea how clean your kitchens are, or what kind of quality control you have over the food in your fridges and pantries. This is not to suggest you are dirty or any such thing......just to say it's inappropriate and against health code standards for them to be asking families to COOK for residents!
But, the hospital certainly didn’t require that, nor would they allow families to cook for strangers.
Some things are not within your control to change, but some ARE. The Serenity Prayer comes to mind in your case:
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The Courage to change the things I can;
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
I wish you peace with your addiction quoting the Serenity prayer. It is not in the Bible and not real.
I wish you peace to deal with your demons
My initial response, coming from a place of 'giving' was to go ahead and make large batches of food and deliver it to the facility--then my realistic side kicked in and I saw myself trying to organize and cook for X many residents, 3 times a day, making the meals healthy, diabetic friendly and not horrifically costly.
Next to impossible! I could do it ONCE or TWICE, but not 3xs a day for goodness knows how long?? 2 weeks, at least??
I'd take care of MY LO and have a good chat with the director of this place. FOOD comes ahead of SHELTER, IMHO. And I agree, they've had 2.5 years and counting with the pandemic and it's not going away, so they need to figure something out.
There are certainly plenty of food service companies who can do banquet style meals if the people there have no family, Even if they do!
So, every time they have a COVID breakout, there's no food service? That's extremely poor planning.
Her husband and his siblings should be looking to get mom out of this s**t hole and into an appropriate facility instead of yammering on about the food. That is the least of this facilities problems.
It is like this place is holding MIL hostage. Note they do not even administer moms insulin there. The OP has to go up there 4 times a day to give MIL insulin.
I really dont understand this OP or her husband and why they are being cowed by this facility. One call to licensing or some sort of regulatory board would get this place investigated.
If I knew the name of the place I would do it myself. Nothing worse than a place like this hiding under this faith based nonsense to neglect and abuse seniors they are supposed to be caring for.
What they should be doing is contracting with such a provider. Even San Quentin State Prison did that in 2020.
No, do not take food to others. Provide for your Mom. DH is a good guy but good deeds don't go unpunished. They will not starve, the AL has to provide meals.
I have not slept for long periods of time since July 2020. MIL fell and I heard my shoulder pop lifting her. I am in alot of pain all the time, I cannot lift my arm straight in the air. The doctors tested me for heart issues and apnea. I have neither. I dont sleep because of pain in my shoulder and upper arm. It seems no one listens to anything anymore.
And for someone who owns nothing, a Medicaid application is not that hard. Moms caseworker helped me with Moms. You just have to provide paperwork needed. You would still need to do that with a lawyer or planner.
I do not see where anyone was rude. Maybe saying things she wasn't ready to hear? She seems to be the only one worried about her MIL but her hands seem to be tied. Seems husband may come from a dysfunctional family. She may be making the right decision to just walk away.
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