15 months ago my husband suffered a stroke, I am unable to give him 24 hour care at home so he is at a nursing home, he is 58 years old. I had to move to my mother's home so I could do things for her, as she is needing more help she is 89. I have a job in a neighboring town I must keep. I have been going to the nursing home for 2-3 hours each evening and most of the day on Sunday. Having some health issues now myself. So now I am wondering what is a reasonable time to spend with my husband in the nursing home as something has to give.
Of course you are the most important person to him; but you can't be the only person who ever liked him? And I'm sure your and his life as a couple has been radically changed, but are you still in touch with your joint social circle?
What I'd suggest is asking for help from friends and seeing if you can get enough of them together to organise a visiting rota. Just say, a rough sketch - Tuesday and Thursday evenings (or afternoons, if some of them would find that easier), they turn up and join in activities with him, or help him with any occupational therapy he's receiving, or just sit and watch tv, or whatever they think they can handle for those two brief hours.
For people who've never encountered stroke close up, this *would* be a challenge and I don't underestimate that. The uninitiated find communication awkward and uncomfortable, they're afraid of saying the wrong thing, they feel a bit useless and helpless. But working in a relay, and starting out on the basis that any socialisation is better than no socialisation, they could do his morale a power of good and feel they've achieved something really worthwhile.
And you'd get two free evenings a week.
Any thoughts?
would depend on that. Is his situation temporary or permanent? What’s his attitude like?
My daddy had a stroke, did rehab and then outpatient speech therapy for a long time afterwards. He never fully recovered. He improved but was never the same.
Some people have more serious strokes and others have mild strokes and recovery is easier for them.
Go as often as you feel like you can handle. Don’t push yourself beyond your limits?
Why can’t your mom hire a caregiver ? What about her going into a facility? Then you can be closer to your husband.
Can you tell us a little more about your circumstances please?
Best wishes to and your family.