My dad fell twice today because of dizziness. There's no assisted livings in my town that have Medicaid beds and he's not "bad" enough for a nursing home. Even if there was openings, he couldn't go because the facility would take his SS check and leave my mom with next to nothing to live on since the rent is so high. If my dad goes to a facility, my mom will have to go back to a nursing home that also has to accept Medicaid. I'm pressuring our social workers to get a move on with this Medicaid waiver program that pays for in-home health, but it's taking so long. I really truly believe that more home health will prevent a lot of these issues - mainly preventing the drinking that causes the dizziness. I don't know what to do. He refuses a hospital, and I can't make him go either. Just let him keep falling and calling 911 until we get more home health in there??
I see from your profile, your parents are in their early 60's, both have issues with alcohol, so young to be going through this.
You are so involved with every detail of your parents care, I was sure you were close by or even in the same house.
At 21, just living on your own is a feat. But managing your own life, plus both your parents affairs, problem solving, in this learn as we go challenge, and do it all from afar, is so impressive!
Now I know it doesn't mean a hill of beans whether some random lady, on a random web site is impressed. And that's so true. I just hope you know you're an amazing daughter, woman and caregiver! 👍💞🌷
I agree with the other posters. Medicaid will NOT leave your mother destitute.
Alcohol dehydrates the body. Your dad could be suffering from dehydration then falling from the dizziness it causes. Or, the alcohol could throw his balance off (that's why they stumble) and he falls.
I grew up with 2 alcoholics, so I understand the situation.
I'm sorry to say, your parents are not going to stop drinking just because there are more c/g's in the house. An alcoholic will find a way to get a drink. They are very resourceful.
I'm afraid that you'll probably have to let them make a mess of their lives because you have no power to make them stop drinking, move into a facility, accept caregivers help or anything else.
Unfortunately, your dad may fall and break a bone. He will be in the hospital then in rehab. Maybe he would need long-term care after that. This is IF he has a fracture.
It sounds like they would be better off in Assisted Living/Nursing Home. They would not be allowed to drink there. Your parents would need to be detoxed before moving to prevent going through withdrawal.
It is a very frustrating situation, to watch the demise of your parents and not be able to do anything about it.
Your profile says you have accepted the fact that they are alcoholics and you can distance yourself from their drama. Good, that's a hard lesson to learn. I'd suggest trying to do that.
A lot of times we want to "fix" things but we can't.
I'm sorry. It's such a waste.
Ok, so I skimmed the question much too quickly and did not see about the alcohol. The above still can apply but as someone else said, the aide care may only be a few hours /week. I was married to an alcoholic in my second marriage. I would drive him to the AA meeting and wait in the car for him until it was over. Months later, I found out that he went in the front door and walked to the bar and drank and then came back to the meeting place and out the front door. And hiding places for the alcohol? I never knew there could be so many hiding places! Oh, and his daughter told me that when he lived with them, he would call a cab to go to the liquor store and deliver it to him.
I'm sure you really care about your parents, but at such a young age, it is good you moved away. You must live your own life. Your parents are still young in their 60's and have made their own choices and you may think you have to help them which is what I thought when I realized that my new husband was alcoholic. But the day that I had the revelation that by trying to help him, I was essentially trying to "fix" him, and no one can fix another. I moved away, divorced him, and 15 years later, know that that was the right decision. Live your life, Young One, and pray for them and do good things in your life, but make it your life, because you are important, too!
Falls happen in the blink of an eye & can occur anywhere even with paid CG’s in the room.
Have you checked with the AL you want your dad to go to about the availability of a Medicaid bed? Even with a Medicaid waiver it may take a long time for a bed to be open.
I suggest thinking about a Plan B, in the event your father won’t get admitted to an AL due to Medicaid as the payor.
Be prepared as you are basically watching over both of your parents which can be a handful (as many here would agree).
Good luck! I know it’s hard when you live hours away from them as well.
Once he falls who is picking him up; that is too much for most women to handle without help, some areas allow you to call fire or ems for assistance getting him up without having to transport to the hospital.
No i don't live with my parents. I live 6 hours away.
As for the dizziness, was it sudden onset? If so, has your dad been evaluated for BPPV? It's common in the elderly and is literally a 5 minute fix. It's easy to evaluate, you can even look for it yourself and then follow up with a health care provider.
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