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My mother is 91 with late stage Alzheimer. She sleeps 22 to 24 hour daily. When she is awake, she comes up with how her doctor has given her information on how to die at home. Now, I know the doctor has never and will never give her such information. When I tell her this, she gets mad and tells me "yes he did, and so did the other doctor down the road". I take her to all doctor appointments and there is no other doctor down the road. How do I deal with this.

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My wife for the first time said she wanted to die. She has issues MS, dementia can’t walk and is bed bound. She is 79. I was a little surprised and caught off guard. Realistically she does not have much of a happy life left. She sleeps a lot. Yesterday at the doctor he had a hard time waking her up. That was something new too. I have to ask how much does mental state add to longevity.
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Second the ideas already brought up:
Don't bother correcting her statements that don't make sense. Who cares? Just let it go.

Get her evaluated for hospice ASAP.

Sorry that your mom is failing but at 91, not a huge surprise.
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First I would say that if your mom is now sleeping 22-24 hours a day that she probably is getting ready to die as sleeping a lot comes with that. So it probably won't be long from now.
And who wouldn't be tired at 91, and ready to leave this world for the next?
But like lealonnie said below when someone suffers from any of the dementias, it's important to just meet them where they're at, in their world, as they no longer are living in ours.
So when she starts talking about these doctors, you just go along and say oh really, the doctor said that huh? Well that's interesting isn't it, and move on. You should NEVER try and correct someone with dementia as that will only upset them and you as well as you are discovering.
And another thought, if your mother is in late stage Alzheimer's, why would you continue to take her to the doctor? There's nothing more they can do for her at this point. Perhaps instead it's time to bring hospice on board, as they will have a nurse to come once a week to start to check her vitals, aides to come bathe her twice a week, and you will have access to their chaplain, social worker and doctor as well. And the fact that she's late stage Alzheimer's and sleeping so much she would have no problem qualifying for it. And it's all covered 100% under your mothers Medicare, including any needed equipment, supplies and medications.
It's time to make sure your mother is as comfortable as possible as she gets ready for her journey from this life to the next.
God bless you.
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Cover999 Sep 2022
You're so right about the Doctor. Usually, they'll "jump ship" when they know that the patient's time on Earth is limited.
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When dementia/ALZ is at play, you have to enter their reality and not correct them, as hard as that is to do. When my mother with late stage dementia used to tell me how she wanted to die, I would commiserate with her and tell her I understood that she was tired and hurting, etc, but that God was not ready for her quite yet. That she would go to be with her family when He was ready to take her and hopefully, that would be soon. That in the meantime, we'd try to make her life as comfortable and happy as possible. Then I'd distract her onto a different topic or offer her a snack.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
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