Within a few weeks my mother-in-law will be transitioning to a nursing home. She has moderate dementia. She does not think anything is wrong with her. She is fully ambulatory, her main issues are cognitive and finding words.She does take medication for high blood pressure and diabetes, but doesn't usually recognize that she has these conditions or needs the medications. I am wondering if anyone has some advice on gentle answers to the hard questions I expect my father-in-law, husband,and his siblings may get from mom. Any ideas for what to say about where they are going (the first time) and why? What to say when leaving her there for the first time? The family plans to be with her alot in the beginning to help her adjust and anticipate lots of questions from mom like, "Why are we here? When can we go home?" etc. Any thoughts on how to make what I'm sure will be very difficult a little easier are sincerely apprecited.
I agree not to have things of great value in NH in case they get stolen; but I would surround mom with familiar things vs trying to make everything new or leaving her in sterile environment. It is a big adjustment and elders find comfort with familiar surroundings and smells of their own pillow, blanket, "things".
Looking back at your profile, and seeing that your MIL was diagnosed at the back end of last year, I have the impression that you have all helped your FIL to reach this difficult decision in an orderly and compassionate way. It is the right decision, but it will still I'm sure be very hard for him. In your position, your FIL would be my main concern. Your MIL will have an entire facility helping her to adjust and settle in, as well as caring family members. But poor old FIL will have to deal with all of the usual emotional issues and adjust to living on his own. How is he getting on with his support group? - is he still going to that?