Hi, my mother-in-law has been suffering with dementia, since the start of it, 2015. In Jan. Of this year she went to the hospital with congestive heart failure and very high blood pressure. She was in for 4 days and came to live with my husband and I. We tag team with her cause we have her 24/7.
My mother started showing symptoms in 2014, and my dad lovingly cared for her until his death in 2018. I lived with and cared for both of them the last eight weeks my dad was alive, and there's absolutely no way caring for Mom at home was sustainable. (My dad dying of cancer was the easier patient to care for!)
I moved Mom to a nursing home a couple of weeks after Dad's death, and I'm convinced she'd have been long gone had I not done so. She's been in memory care (and has heart issues, too) since mid-2019, and she's received infinitely better care than even my dad or I, who both loved her deeply, could provide.
Memory care is not a sign of failure or of not loving someone. Seeing to it that they receive the best care possible IS a sign of loving someone.