My mother lives with my sis, in a trailer, sis is a border line hoarder, can't walk into 2 out of 3 bedrooms, can't sit at table to eat, can hardly fit walker through the place. When I tried to get someone to come out and evaluate the place / adult protection services, they said because mom is cognitive there is nothing I can do, other than go and clean up the house to make it safe. Sis won't let anyone touch anything, she has cameras everywhere to see what people are doing in her house. Sis also badgers mom until mom goes along with whatever sis wants. Sad situation & I don't know how to help. It is not possible for mom to live with me. I don't have room and work all day - no one will be home with her and she is a fall risk.
Oobviously you and your other sibling needs to intervene. Since a neighbor heard verbal abuse would they be willing to call APS and report that they believe, based on over hearing, that a vulnerable senior citizen is being abused? This can carry loads more influence, as it is not a family conflict issue.
When you called did they even investigate? I would report again, I was told the more complaints the more likely action will be taken.
Beg anyone who has witnessed anything or has concerns for your mum to please be her voice and file an anonymous report with APS.
Let them know that vulnerable people can easily be controlled as they are fearful and it is the right thing to do. If everyone doesn't help protect our vulnerable citizens they are at higher risk of abuse, exploitation and death.
I pray that you can get your mom into a facility that will help her have some quality for the rest of her life.
Stay strong and fight on! It may be hard and long but you can win this unfortunate battle you have on your hands.
Hugs to you for caring enough to stand in the gap for your mom. You are in my prayers.🙏
It would make it easier if she herself would talk to police/an attorney. Most attorneys do free consultations, and some do take payments. You might even try calling her Area Agency on Aging to come out and do a needs assessment. I think they are mandated reporters if they feel that she is in an unsafe and unsanitary environment and/or is being exploited.
If mom is competent, then you can haul her down to an atty while sister is gone and get a *Durable* POA - works even after she's incompetent. If she's obviously incompetent, an atty won't allow her to sign for a POA. A new POA revokes old POAs.
If mom turns out to be incompetent according to the atty, you can file for guardianship of mthr but will need doctor to back you up. You would need photos of the living conditions where she is now so sneak those in when you visit. This will be hard fought where the sister is draining the mom's account of money.
If a doctor says mom is incompetent and needs to get out of that living situation, you would be able to file for emergency guardianship and have an immediate hearing.
Here's the catch: if your sister has been draining the account, Medicaid may not be able to help you if the drainage is deemed a gift since you don't have receipts to back up the charges to her account. You would likely need to pay for any care home out of pocket. That would mean keeping her at your house.
You have said that your mom is not happy at your house because of her fear of cats. If you are serious about rescuing your mom to your house, a person with far more value than feral cats, then you need to move the cats away to prepare for your mom. If your other sister wants to keep mom, then she needs to be the one getting the POA and you can help her. Make your choices starting with who keeps mom for the long term.
You may need to fine an attorney who will permit you to make monthly installments on the legal fees.
There are things you can do. An attorney would help.
If she is mentally competent you may have no choice.
If she is doing well and doesn't mind the mess, is it really in her best interest to intervene?
You can't take her, what is your plan for her?
Living in a mess with someone you love and does take care of you, beats the hell out of a Nursing home.
If APS checked it out, why are you unhappy with the decision they made?
Im not trying to hard nose you, I just think that questions should be asked, motivates evaluated before an elder is forced to do anything.
There is a risk of fire and insect and vermin infestation in these situations. If Mom is eating spoiled food, that puts her even more at risk. If your sister feels she has to have security cameras all over to make sure no one messes with her hoard, that just reinforces the idea she’s got mental issues
Who has Power of Attorney for your mother? If no one does, it’s time to go see an attorney with her and get it. Then you can remove Mom from that situation. Even if you can’t take her long term, have her stay with you while you make other living arrangements. Get a Home Health Akde to come in while you’re at work, or have her stay with another family member. Ask the attorney to help you file for Medicaid if you need to.