My dad died in march 2022 and since then my mum stopped calling me stopped inviting me out even took all her grandchildren and my brother and sister on holiday, I don't contact her anymore as she said on my birthday that she feels like piggy in the middle as my sister is doesn't like of me,I am a giver in life my glass is half full I will always say sorry just to keep the peace and I would never hurt anyone or leave anyone out. I can't seem to get my head round what is happening as we HV been a very close family for 50 years I am at a loss at how hurtful they are being to me. Ps I am not perfect.any thoughts would be appreciated x
Your decision must be now to move on. Let your Mom know you would love to have lunch, see a movie, shop, whatever, any time she would like. Make certain she has your contact information. Send her little short notes and cards wishing her well, and then basically...........................
Get on with your life.
We have two chances at family. The one we are born into and the one we make for ourselves. Find activities and friends you share with and cherish. That's your new "family". Stay open and accepting to Mom and Sis if they wish to contact you, and otherwise let them have their lives.
I wish you the very best of luck going forward. Share your loving heart with those who will appreciate it.
Its a shame that families get like this. My Dad was one of 8 and two of his siblings were not easy to be around but they were not left out of family functions. I have a SIL thats gets mad at a sibling and doesn't speak to him for years because of something he did she was not happy with.
There are times in life when one needs to just back away, this may be the time for you to do just that.
My mother favors my brother, always has, Two sets of rules, one for him another for me. I was the scapegoat, no longer, I had enough, haven't spoken to her for 12 years.
I am happy and have no need to get back together with her, I function quite well without her, have great friends who I enjoy being with and other family members who include me in everything, not her. For example, her brother, my uncle has not spoken to her for 40 years we are close as are all my cousins.
Why be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
Respect is a two way street, in your case it is one way and will lead to a dead end street.
Maybe your mom is depressed? Maybe she is being manipulated by your sister? How old is mom? Does she have dementia?
Do you have a relationship with your sister and brother? If you want a relationship with them, I think you are going to have a lot of work to do.