I just read an article on “Rally”, about a passing of a loved one. My Dad just passed a month ago today (April 5, 2019). He unexpectedly passed in his homeland Philippines. It’s been very difficult for me to accept that he is now gone. I don’t think I can ever get over how he passed. I flew out to the Philippines on March 26th. I was told my Dad had a minor heart attack and had trouble breathing. When my daughter and I arrived he was gradually getting better (and so we thought). A few days before he passed he was gradually eating, drinking, and talking. He kept saying he was getting better and that he will be coming home. The doctors even said the same thing. The doctor said if he stays in the right course he will be released from the hospital that Saturday, which would be April 6th. We all were very happy. I told him that once he gets completely better that we would fly him back to America to get better treatment. He agreed. I spent the night at the hospital on Wednesday, April 3rd since my Dad was already in the recovery room, my daughter and I were allowed to stay overnight so we can spend more time with him, because my daughter and I were flying back home to California on April 5th. When we left the hospital the day before our flight, my Dad said not to worry, he will be coming home in a few days. My daughter who is only 4 years old jumped on the hospital bed and gave her Grandpa a big hug as well as I. At that time I was not worried. I was sad, because I was leaving my Dad. But I wasn’t worried because I knew he was getting much better. On my way to the airport on Friday, April 5th I made a quick call / Facetime with my Dad. He spoke and even waved a goodbye to my daughter, he looked extremely fine. He said that he ate a lot of food and that he will most likely be coming home on Monday. Not knowing that last call was his way of saying “goodbye”. At around 5pm, I received the most devastating call of my entire life. The sharp pain I felt my heart breaking into so many pieces. My Uncle, My Dads younger brother stated he passed. So by reading the article on “Rally”, my Dad knew he was leaving us and did not want to tell me? So is that why waited until he knew I was flying back home? Since he passed, I’ve been trying to get some answers. I love my Dad so much. I’m lost. I know my grieving will someday subside, but the hurt I am feeling of why he left is eating me up inside. The hurt of losing my Dad, is unbearable. I cry everyday and night for my Dad. I pray. I talk to him. I know there isn’t anything I can do to bring him back. Please help
The pain will subside in time, but a month is no time at all for grieving.
I could repeat the usual platitudes, but they will not reduce your pain.