I know there are no answers, but I need to vent a little. I called my mother today to wish her a Merry Christmas Eve morning. I found out that she had fallen two days ago in her home. My brother told me this. I asked my mother if she had fallen and she said "no, I sat". She said she had been trying to put on a pair of pants and fell backward onto a bed, and then slipped off the bed onto the floor. She couldn't get up. She didn't have her cell phone with her, and she couldn't reach the wall phone (which was in the next room. Her grandson was home, but he has Down Syndrome and he refused to help her get up. So, she told me that she "scooted" through two rooms until she reached the clothes washer in the kitchen and used that to pull herself up (I don't know how). I suggested a life-alert or some type of alert system that she could wear so that someone would be called if she fell and couldn't get up. She said she doesn't need one. I asked if she would use one if I got it for her. She said "No, not for this" (meaning her fall?) I explained that someone would be alerted and would come to help her. She repeated that she wouldn't use it "for this". Then she said "You don't listen". That's when I said good-by and hung up. I'm so frustrated and demoralized after almost every contact with her. She lives in a house packed with stuff. Obstacles to walking, definite fall hazards. I don't know if she really slipped off the side of the bed or not, she won't tell me the truth about any falls. She fell a couple of months ago and didn't tell me. My brother told me (again). When I asked her about it, she said she "fell asleep standing up in the kitchen". It is very obvious to me that she should not be living alone, but she insists that she is NOT going to move. I know there are no answers, I'm just grateful to have a place to vent my feelings. On Dec. 26th, I'm going to try to get an appointment with a counselor to try to deal with my feelings.
Thank you all for listening.
Jane
An elder does not want to admit to defeat, that they need help. When my parent's primary doctor recommended a life alert type of device, my Dad chimed in saying that's for old people. Guess we would have needed to revisit that topic when he and Mom reached 100 !!
Many of us here on Aging Care had to wait for a medical emergency before we could do something major to help create a better situation for our parent(s).... [sigh]
Oh talk therapy is helpful. My therapist was around my age and she had recently had to deal with elderly parents, so she really did understand.