Above and beyond our additional expenses. In addition to some of the typical additional chores (laundry - including some soiled, meals, medicine, etc) she interupts most conversations between our kids and us with the same 15 stories about her childhood. She's very sweet, and loves to tell these stories, but it keeps out (late-teen) kids from having normal conversation with us at the dinner table.
She is saving about $400/month by living with us and that figure will rise to $1,100/month once her house is sold in about a year. Her estate, including the house, is about $300,000.
Is there a fair amount to charge the estate for the caregiving and the additional expenses? Both my wife and I work. In about a year, we'll have to have a companion come in while we're at work, but for right now she's ok as long as we call her and remind her to eat lunch and take her medicine. Our daughter gets home from school at about 2:30 and helps out.
If you do not have power of attorney then who is in charge of her money? If she has dementia I would assume that she is not capable of managing her own affairs. The important thing is that things are done with her best interests at heart. Even if she goes on Medicaid they understand that the financial responsibility for caring for an elderly relative should not fall on the shoulders of family members. As long as you can show reasonable receipts you should be fine.
I have two daughters who are now 9 (10 in May) and 5. If I had known how disruptive my grandmother living with us would be, I would probably not moved her in with us. We have not had a vacation in 5 years. We can NEVER spend the night away from home. She refuses to go anywhere else or have anyone else stay with her. She is constantly verbally abusing my older daugher by telling her she is fat or she eats too much or she needs to do this or do that. She's even slapped my daughter. I've told my grandmother that my children are not hers and she does not have the right to treat my daughter that way or tell them what to do. I will move her into a nursing home if she continues to do this, and I've told her so.
But back to your money question... I'd talk to an attorney who specializes in elder situations (including medicare, medicaid, etc) and get every "t" crossed and every "i" dotted. If I could do it all over, I definitely would.
Her world has become smaller and smaller as she has lost her eyesight for the most part, and her short term memory for the whole part. At first I would bang my head on the wall having to repeat everything I told her, but now I just repeat it and let it go. Who cares at this point? She wants to contribute to the conversation, problem is she has nothing NEW to say anymore. Find another time to talk to the kids about what they want to talk about, but not at the dinner table. If she is a kind person, then this will be a good learning experience for your kids as to how to treat you and your wife someday. And believe me, it'll happen sooner than you think. ugh!!