Now that dad died my sister thinks she should be in charge of every decision that my mother should make. Our mom was a housewife and was left with a good amount of money. My sister feels she should tell her how to spend it, etc. She gets so angry if I dont agree or go along with her decisions. I think it is moms money and if she isnt spending foolishly its her choice. Even if she does spend it on dumb stuff isnt it her choice unless it hurts her? She sold a car to her ex son in law and my sister went balistic! She wants me to side with her. At times she is down right abusive. We all tip toe around her.
My younger brother assumed 'medical power of attorney' but virtue of the fact that "HE" was there when Mom was transferred to the rehabilitiation center.
My older brother assumed FINANCIAL power of attorney, but wanted NONE of the responsiblities that came with the 'job;.
We put the 'FUN" back in dysFUNctional when it came to handling Mom's affairs. Needless to say, Mom passed away in May of this year, and there has been LITTLE if any contact from my brothers and sister. As I said to them when trying to get everyone on the same page (unsuccessfully I might add), "One day Mom will pass and you can all go back to your pathetic lives, and you will have ONE less person to worry about (Mom). Sad.. so sad but true.
God bless you... please try to communicate with your sister, but don't make it your life's work. Sounds like a career move if you did so!! MOM is more important than she is!
If you use this approach you must do so with integrity and understand that your mom will probably need every dollar she's got to live on - don't do this expecting to retain any inheritance. The Motto is: Mom did without then, she should live a nice life NOW!
Often situations like this escalate into heated arguments, grudges and yelling - God forbid!! Perhaps you can avoid that by helping your Mom and keeping things quiet from Bully Sister. This is also a bit manipulative but it will keep the peace. I go through this with my brother all the time. Our situation is bad though and I've given myself permission to let go of any relationship with him. Once my Mom passes away, I'll never see him again - he's just too toxic. I HOPE you can rescue your relation ship with sister before it gets that far!!
If the car was sold to bossy's ex hubby, then that would explain some things too. If not, your mother hasn't had her very own money to spend for a long time, so maybe she's just exercising her ability to do so now.