OMG I never get any sleep anymore. She sleeps all day and is awake most of the night. Her PCP took her off sleeping pills so I got some OTC sleeping aids. It helps a bit but not much. I cannot get her to stay awake during the day at all. At night she wanders and gets into things and when I wake up there is crap all over the place. What can I do to make this situation more tolerable? She gets mad at me if I go to bed early and keeps complaining about it. I am at wits end.
Sleep disturbance is one of the most normal things about aging and aging with dementia. I doubt there's a whole lot you can do about it.
Getting her busy and engaged during the day may help with her getting to sleep at night.
A side note if the OTC sleep aids contain Benadryl they can make an already "foggy" brain more foggy. And they can also make her a fall risk.
My mother went to bed at a decent hour but she had nightmares that would awaken her.
There was a time when she was wondering at night. The doctor prescribed Ativan and Seroquel and the wondering stopped.
Have you discussed other medications besides sleeping pills with her doctor?
Also, look at side effects of any medication that she is taking. My brother had to take certain medications for health issues. One of the side effects was not being able to sleep.
- portable (tabletop) pedaler. She did it with her feet while watching tv. 20 min.
- folding a large stack of kitchen towels (dedicated towels just for this purpose)
- sorting poker chips by color
- reading to us out loud
- walking her around the house
- playing any card or board games, her rules
She was being given Tylenol PM and it didn't work all the time and eventually wasn't working at all. After starting the tasks she slept great and we stopped the Tylenol PM. She had memory deficit so we'd have her fold the same towels 2x a day. She also watched Pixar and DreamWorks animated movies with the captions on and read the entire movie to herself. I hope you can find something that works!
Mother's PCP discontinued her sleeping medication - yet you are medicating your Mother with OTC medications?
Go back to the PCP.
Tell the PCP you are not coping.
Makes me feel a little guilty for complaining about taking care of my mom daily but not 24/7
I'm honestly not a religious person, but want to say God bless all us wonderful people that care so much.
Gentle - make her go to bed a little earlier every day and stay up a little longer during the day. Requires that she get stimulation - activities, walks, listen to music, watch movies, hobbies... Eventually, she will be on a schedule that is more manageable.
Quick - set firm times for rest and wake periods. Make sure she does not sleep during a "wake" period by any means necessary. In about 3 days or so, she will adjust to the new schedule. Please note that she - and maybe you - will not be as pleasant to be with during this transition period.
"There are also other parts of the brain which control whether or not we stay awake, and these may also not work properly if they become damaged. Sometimes a person with dementia might completely reverse their normal sleep pattern, staying up all night and then sleeping all day."
Jan 29, 2024
"They may become restless or agitated in the late afternoon or early evening, an experience often called “sundowning.” Experts estimate that in late stages of Alzheimer's, individuals spend about 40 percent of their time in bed at night awake and a significant part of their daytime sleeping."
Read this:
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/sleep
Should you let a dementia patient sleep all day?
"It can be hard to stay awake during the day after a poor night's sleep but, if possible, it's best to try to limit sleep during the day to small bursts or 'catnaps'. Otherwise the person's body clock can become very confused and this makes sleeping well during the night even harder."
Jan 29, 2024
Gena / Touch Matters
I expect you're in the US and I don't know how things work there, but can you get in touch with adult social services and ask for help?
At the moment, it looks like your mum isn't in need - because you are there. But you can't stay there and outside agencies need to be involved.
I'm writing this after you would have had the appt. with your mum's doctor, but in the UK the GP often has good advice about where to go next. So, call social services and speak with the doctor.
The care homes saying that your mum is a liability is not putting your mum's health and safety first. There must be some facility that would be equipped to deal with your mum's needs.
And you need to go home!