I finally got my father, 90 years old, placed in an assisted living care. He seems to do OK. But he has these bouts where he tries to bully the staff to let him go back to Pittsburgh which is 8 to 9 hours away from where he is now on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. My father is 6'4" and weighs 145 pound. He can be a very daunting subject when he starts waving his hands around and demanding things. The nursing staff do with him except when he gets like this they don't seem to know what to do and they call me. Now I speak to my father almost everyday on the phone and we go see him once a week. But when he calls me in a frantic mood and they ask me to try to calm him down, I feel that they aren't doing their job. Am I right about this? Or is this how it really works because it seems to just keep me very upset and it doesn't do him any good. My husband are Sr. Citizens too. We are tired. Advice please. Thank you
How long has your dad been in the care home? If he's just gotten there, this kind of confusion is often seen and can usually be dealt with by re-direction by skilled staff. But, as I said previously, he may need meds for his agitation if it continues to be a problem. Not meds to "knock him out"....meds to ease the anxiety and agitation that is common in dementia that "something is wrong" and "I need to get to the place where they're expecting me and where I'm needed". You often hear of dementia patients trying to get "home" to feed the children, pick kids up from school, fix stuff at their job. Let us know how you are doing.
Be available over the next five days, as you take time to talk again to the director to give instructions and permission to deal with him.
He may settle in very soon.
You were right to ask before they want him out of there. If it doesn't start working, you may have to send a temporary caregiver to tend just to Dad for awhile.
There is medication for Dad. Ask the doctor.
You will be okay!