I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Another wine bottle with no genie at the bottom.
I’ll keep looking.
Act now.
Adopt a rescue wine.
The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.
“I have decided I no longer want to improve myself.
I am a beautiful disaster.
And I accept myself as such.
So, bless this mess because I’m done being stressed.”
“I think it’s crazy that we have anger management, but we don’t have stupidity management!
I can’t be mad, but you get to be dumb. That’s very unfair!”
“I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death.”
"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."
Famous Last Words:
“These mushrooms look just like the ones in the book.”
“Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Hold my beer and watch this.”
“Of course I checked if it was plugged in.”
Ya know how sometimes, for whatever reason you need to pee, and you need to pee, now. 😂
I found it helps to sing the alphabet, while walking to the bathroom. Then I found, you need to get to the bathroom before you get to the letter P ! 😂
It's probably going to be a dog, but that's okay.
No matter how popular they get…
antibiotics will never
go viral!
If at first you don’t succeed,
try two more times
so that your failure is statistically significant.
You aren’t doing it wrong
…if no one knows what you’re doing.
You know too much psychology
when you can't get mad because
you understand everyone's
reason for doing everything.
Na
Love letter from a statistician...
X's letter to Y: You're three standard deviations above the norm.
Y: Um...Thanks?
Classical conditioning.
is actually an insane asylum for the universe.
A wolf is struck with a curse: every full moon it turns into a human for one night.
Today was going great, until
people.
I can already tell it’s going to be another one of those mornings where I’m not rich & famous.
97% of my poor decisions
are food related.
When I get to work, I first hide.
Because a good worker is hard to find.
Remind me to never, ever do that again.
I wonder how she killed me this time.
I’m not stupid.
And sometimes I think
that’s part of the problem.
I’m often mistaken for an adult
because of my age.
Next week
has been exhausting.