Follow
Share
Read More
Mom came home today. She is refusing to eat and being very needy and helpless. Some of which is expected but I suspect some is her usual game. I am so glad to be getting away this weekend. I feel guilty dumping her on Carol (world's best caregiver/companion). Not out of guilt for leaving Mom but out of guilt for the weekend that Carol has in front of her. I'm going to have to bring her back something real nice from Dallas.
(7)
Report

M to M go and enjoy yourself without any guilt. You will be refreshed and happier when you get back and everyone will benefit.
(2)
Report

M2M, it sounds like you have made the best arrangements that you can. Your Mom's UTI is being treated in hospital - if she needs more care than your caregiver for weekend can give, she can stay in hospital or go to short term rehab (3 days stay for Medicare:)) You and husband deserve some time to yourselves, just like parents do. This is not you leaving her bleeding on the side of the road or with suspicious symptoms and no transport. She is in medical care and the hospital cannot discharge her to unsafe environment without adequate supervision. Please take a break for you.
(3)
Report

It is all about ME this weekend and I refuse to feel guilty. Weeks in the works, I have plans to fly to Dallas to attend a Christmas party this weekend. Arranged to take a half day off work on Friday to make the flight. Have piles of food for the kids. Arranged to have Mom's daytime caregiver spend the weekend.

Then, two days ago, Mom gets herself hospitalized for a UTI. I'm hoping she is released today but, I have decided, no matter what, I am taking my trip. My husband has been in Dallas all week and we have been planning this fun weekend revolving around his work party. Mom can't take it from me.
(3)
Report

I thought I'd better check into my thread before it completely falls off the map. Speaking of signs from loved ones, I haven't had many lately. I felt Mom's presence in little ways for a while but .............I like to think that she is happy where she is and has little need to connect to this world anymore.
(5)
Report

I think sometimes these signs are subtle, like they are being happy in a dream.
(2)
Report

Same here, Susan. Been waiting and waiting for a "sign" or unique message or talisman from my late mother. Nothing yet. Altho mom was rather plain and practical. So maybe "reaching out from beyond" simply isn't her style!
(2)
Report

This whole time, since Mom passed in July, I've been expecting a sign from Mom - a dream or something. Nothing that I've noticed as a definitive "mom" thing. Not a single dream about her or anything. Finally, in the wee hours of this morning, I dreamed about taking Mom somewhere in the big old handicap van we used to have when she was alive. I don't remember where we were going (remembered as soon as I woke up but then it was gone - poof!), but it seemed like old times, when I used to take her places and she was still reasonably able to get around. She was happy and enjoying the ride.

I guess I'll have to take it as a sign that she's letting me know she's ok and happy. I hope so.
(2)
Report

I really like this thread. It is just what i needed this morning since i had no sleep last night. I don't post much but enjoy reading all the posts here. I don't really consider myself "old" and have a much lighter load in caregiving lately. On halloween i went to my doc complaining of exhaustion without doing much at all. I
take all the vitamins that my paycheck could ever afford. ( magnisium, folic acid, d3, calcium, c, a multivitamin, prescription iron and b12). I was running a temp and really didn't have enough energy to get out of bed. I will be 61 on dec 27. She ran all sorts of tests and called me back the day before thanksgiving with a dx. I have an active case of mono. What?!!! Who have i been around? Lol, life is like a box of chocolates.......
(5)
Report

The high dive commercial is good in that it does not make older people look stupid or cute as so many commercials do.
(0)
Report

I love that new iPhone commercial where the old man full of moxie does a belly flop off the high dive only to turn it into an Olympic splash at the end -
Magic!
(1)
Report

Thank you everyone who posted good advice. I am beginning to take better care of myself.
(3)
Report

Kit Harington could show up at my house any day w/o a car -- he is gift enough. Oh my...
(3)
Report

Pam, guess that means bearded English actor Kit Harington won't be pulling into my driveway with a new Infinity Q60.

I notice that both he and Matthew are riding alone???
(3)
Report

Oh Pam, please don't get me started on those Matthew Macoug......(I don't know how to spell his damn name) commercials. I feel like putting my foot right through the t.v. whenever they come on. Arghhh.........
(3)
Report

What Katie!! you mean I'm not getting a new Lincoln delivered by Mathew Macoughny this year?? There goes my dreams and wishes.
(4)
Report

moecam, I agree....what used to be a holiday lasting one day is now several tiresome months long. Many holidays that were one day seem to go on at least 2 weeks in general anymore...people take off of work the week before, and others take off the week after and the ruckus goes on the whole time. It seemed much more special when Christmas was a one or two weeks at most, not dragged on for months. And don't get me started on those Christmas luxury car commercials that don't even end until weeks after the holiday making us listen to that music long after the fact. I personally only know of one person in my entire life that got a car for a gift this way and it was an old, used Dodge that was her father in law's company car for an exterminator...they just took the bug signs off the doors and repainted them, and gave her the old car.
(2)
Report

Brandywine, I am experiencing narcissistic behavior from an old friend recently, as well as my MIL for the past 30 yrs. I am not sure why this happens. Perhaps it is a sign of insecurity about something and it comes out this way. I have been feeling very bad too, about my old friend's behavior. The best thing is to realize it is not your fault and treat yourself well. I am standing my ground with the narcissists in my life and keeping a bit of a distance. It also seems this holiday season brings out the worst in too many people.
(4)
Report

Lu, I definitely think the cardinal was a sign. My Mom always loved cardinals too. After my Dad died, a bright red male cardinal began to appear at the kitchen window right by where my Dad used to sit. My Mom began feeding the cardinal. I bought my Mom a beautiful sun catcher with a male and female cardinal on it for her window while she was bedridden before she died. A few days after Mom died a female cardinal appeared at my kitchen window! Even a catalog arrived in the mail with a painting on the front of a male and female cardinal together the next day. There is truly something about cardinals. I believe your Mom was sending a sign that she is ok and came to check on you too! {{Hugs}}, Katie.
(2)
Report

Thank you Veronica and Susan.....So many times I asked Mom to send me a sign to let me know she was safe and OK and I really want and need to take this as a sign.
(5)
Report

Brandy I think you have to get to a point where you don't care anymore. Otherwise, it will continue to hurt. My sister used to always hurt my feelings until just recently I got to the point where I had enough respect for myself to where she didn't have the ability to hurt me.

Work on loving you, Brandy. You know how you feel towards people you love. If you saw someone treating them bad you would step in and defend them right? Well start loving yourself enough to the point where you won't tolerate being treated bad.
(4)
Report

My middle age daughter has narcissitic personality disorder or so I think. It's me, me me, me. What I can do for her, how much money I am sending, how many gifts she is getting, how big and nice the gifts are. She is barely talking to me because I don't cater to her every whim. She has good job and makes a lot of money. But still wants me to send her money. She treats me like dirt under her feet. I am so very hurt by her actions, I cry and cry. I went to NAMI and go to a counselor and getting a lot of help but it still hurts. Please suggest how I can handle this.
(2)
Report

I hope you all enjoyed U.S.A. Thanksgiving - I just wish you wouldn't think that is the be all & end all - I am a very happy non-American - you have started such a rat race in the shopping that it even infects us here in Canada - it is xmas DAY not a bloody 3month season - say YES if by xmas you soooo tired of it that you can't wait to have it over

I say lets celebrate Saturnalia [what christians took over to get maxium exposure] which was the festival just after the shortest day of the year & where the days start to lengthen - look it up
(1)
Report

Lu, you are so fortunate to have seen that! I've always heard it said that a cardinal visiting your yard is a visitor from heaven....I would say having it enter the house is a definite sign. Your mom is watching out for you.
(2)
Report

Luckily, I definitely think it was a sign from your mother. What a lovely thing to happen on Thanksgiving Day. You will never forget this. it was her way of saying thank you for all you did.
(5)
Report

The neatest thing happened on Thanksgiving and the day after at our home.
As we were heading out for our Thanksgiving dinner at my Uncle's,I could have sworn I saw a bird fly in the house but my husband said "no,it flew out".Not thinking anymore about it,time went on.The next morning(yesterday) I had the TV on and I thought I kept hearing the chirping of a cardinal,so I turned off the TV and kept hearing it and then I saw it...A female cardinal in Mother's doll room.I couldn't believe it and still can't.I keep wondering if it might have been a sign from Mother.It must have seen me sleeping but it was quiet all night.Mother knew I had a "thing" about cardinals and this was a female and in her favorite room of the house.Sooo strange.
My husband cupped it gently and helped it out the door and it flew away,but not far......Anyway,I just can't get over this.Does anyone else think it might be a sign?............................Thanks.............................
(8)
Report

Darn, hit post too soon (again.)

Reading more about Florence's early years, she had an incredibly tough life - her father was an alcoholic and left the family and then her mother abandoned the children when Florence was 12. She used her God-given talents and sang whenever possible to help pay the bills and keep food on the table for herself and her siblings. What a tough lady - given the era she lived in, that had to be difficult to do!
(2)
Report

I was saddened to read of Florence's passing myself - the sad thing is, this apparently snuck up on her - her family said she hadn't been ill at all, and was only hospitalized the day before she died.
(1)
Report

Yes, Madge, R.I. P. Florence Henderson. Funny, I just saw her in the audience on Dancing with the Stars the other day and she looked beautiful. I guess you can never tell.
(4)
Report

It's the story of a lovely lady ....
RIP Florence Henderson
(5)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter