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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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This is part of thecDementia/ALZ. In her mind, the dead people are still in her world. Not much you can really do. Telling her repeatly will have no effect. Her brain is dying little by little. I believe they go back in time. My Mom acted like a child.
Shadownmuffin, my Mom was the opposite, she would talk about wanting to go visit her parents and stop by to see her sisters. Well, Mom was in her late 90's, so her childhood family had been gone for awhile.
I had to use "therapeutic fibs" to keep my Mom happy by saying "we will visit tomorrow" as I knew she would forget quickly. My Mom also had a difficult time in hearing, her ears just wore out, and I hated to sound like I was yelling at her.
My Dad's caregivers said that he would be sad knowing he no longer had his parents or his brothers [even though one elderly brother was still alive]. The caregivers would guide him to talk about something else.
Can you hire a day caregiver to be with Mom? That will give you some relief of listening to the same type of talk day in and day out.
I am afraid that this is her world. You just can either redirect or play along. My mother sees or thinks there are ghost in our house. When she gets on this kick I just go along with it and tell her that they won't harm her; they are just watching over her. It helps that she is not scared of them for this would make things more difficult. I have found that it is much easier to just play along. Don't know if it is right but it is better than trying to get her into my world!
Shell, you know "ghosts" could be a comfort for those who believe that deceased loved ones can visit. You could tell them its a guardian angel. They say children see what adults can't. So maybe those suffering from Dementia see because the mind takes them back to being children.
My father died 11 yrs before my Mom. Mom never talked about him in her Dementia state until this one day. She told me "Walter" came to see her. I asked what did he have to say. In that split second she had forgotten what she had said. Always wondered what he had said. I truly believe loved ones come for us in the end. Surprided me she said Walter instead of your Dad. So thinking she was somewhere before marriage and kids.
Is she in a NH? I wouldn't worry about her talking to dead people. Let it go and just go along with the conversation. Can't expect it to be rational and "normal" anymore.
Re: her hearing - does she use hearing aids? Can she read? If so, you could write her simple yes or no questions. I guess nodding and smiling work too? And I always like a deep breath or two to help stay calm in the face of difficult conversations like these.
My mother is hard of hearing and asks me to speak louder too. It’s draining to continually speak up in a loud voice. I too feel like I am screaming and don’t like it.
She explained to me that she needs people to speak slowly for her. That helped some for both of us because I realized she was reading my lips. I know this because she has said for me to face her when I speak. Of course if I am looking in a different direction she would not be able to to read my lips.
Yes! This is why I go along with it. When my dad was dying he saw his aunt and he went peacefully.
As long as my mother is not afraid I am ok with it!
You could be correct that people with dementia see what we don't. I do know cats and dogs see things we don't. Had my own experience with Sam my BF's cat!
Good night, before my mum passed, she saw many people who were dead. I believe when death is near we tend to see those who went before us.
One day, she pointed to the foot of her bed and said, “ look, they are standing there , the three men.” I asked, “what do they want?” She said, “ they are coming for me.” I asked, “what are they wearing?” She said, “ they are dressed in White.” I told her to tell them she is not ready to go yet. I do not know whether she did or not.
As the other person said, go along with the conversation. There is no need to place your mum in a Nursing Home. Had I known my brother was going to follow my mum 32 days after she passed, I would have paid more attention to when he spoke of having “the feeling,” that he was going to die soon. He was struck by a speeding motorist in South America, Guyana.
He did, come to say bye two nights before he passed. He knew he was going to die and so did my mum. She was looking towards her bedroom door as if she was expecting someone to come take take her. The Aide said when my mum saw who she was expecting, she was going to get up from the chair to go. The Aide left the room to make a phone call, and when she went back, mama was gone...
Treasure your mum, for you will ONLY have one mother and ONE father.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I had to use "therapeutic fibs" to keep my Mom happy by saying "we will visit tomorrow" as I knew she would forget quickly. My Mom also had a difficult time in hearing, her ears just wore out, and I hated to sound like I was yelling at her.
My Dad's caregivers said that he would be sad knowing he no longer had his parents or his brothers [even though one elderly brother was still alive]. The caregivers would guide him to talk about something else.
Can you hire a day caregiver to be with Mom? That will give you some relief of listening to the same type of talk day in and day out.
Re: her hearing - does she use hearing aids? Can she read? If so, you could write her simple yes or no questions. I guess nodding and smiling work too? And I always like a deep breath or two to help stay calm in the face of difficult conversations like these.
Good luck!
She explained to me that she needs people to speak slowly for her. That helped some for both of us because I realized she was reading my lips. I know this because she has said for me to face her when I speak. Of course if I am looking in a different direction she would not be able to to read my lips.
As long as my mother is not afraid I am ok with it!
You could be correct that people with dementia see what we don't. I do know cats and dogs see things we don't. Had my own experience with Sam my BF's cat!
One day, she pointed to the foot of her bed and said, “ look, they are standing there , the three men.” I asked, “what do they want?” She said, “ they are coming for me.” I asked, “what are they wearing?” She said, “ they are dressed in White.” I told her to tell them she is not ready to go yet. I do not know whether she did or not.
As the other person said, go along with the conversation. There is no need to place your mum in a Nursing Home. Had I known my brother was going to follow my mum 32 days after she passed, I would have paid more attention to when he spoke of having “the feeling,” that he was going to die soon. He was struck by a speeding motorist in South America, Guyana.
He did, come to say bye two nights before he passed. He knew he was going to die and so did my mum. She was looking towards her bedroom door as if she was expecting someone to come take take her. The Aide said when my mum saw who she was expecting, she was going to get up from the chair to go. The Aide left the room to make a phone call, and when she went back, mama was gone...
Treasure your mum, for you will ONLY have one mother and ONE father.
All all the best.