However, I now realize that apparently everyone expects people to inevitably become demented and or childlike just because of age. Also, older people are not respected, enjoyed, or appreciated anymore. They are considered burdens, annoyances, or botherrsome. If I were a person prone to depression, I would be depresed by this info. As it is, I just feel very very thankful for every day that I am still privileged to enjoy.
At 86, every day of freedom is very appreciated and treasured even though I also dread the day when I might become helpless and or dependent. Every morning, I thank God that I can walk pain free, think and speak coherently, see , hear, taste, and smell all the wonders and pleasures of life; most precious of all the blessing of freedom to choose each day what I want to eat, wear, do, say, go, or stay; and the respect and true love of those with whom I share enjoyable reciprocal relationships. Because of the tragic things I read on this site, I never take anything for granted. I am so very very thankful and appreciative. I also want to urge everybody to reject strong diuretics, statins, metformin, biophosonates, narcotics, celebrex, or any other destructive substances so they might have hope of a happy old age. I hope I will be in my right mind until just very shortly before I die and that nobody will ever suffer trying to be a caregiver for me. Life is full of mysteries that we cannot understand. However, I am glad for the things God has helped me to know and I hope I can share with others.
All of my life i have been fortunate to have wonderful elders in my life - from my greatgrandmother when i was a small child - who read fairy tales and poetry to me and let me help her garden and feed her canary. To my grandmother who helped me learn German when i was in high school and we spoke on the phone or in person or wrote letters to each other. My other grandmother who taught me to knit ( a hobby i love) and sang "Tiny Bubbles in the Wine" to us when she babysat. She never judged us - only enjoyed each grandchild and was very interested in everything we were doing and thinking. All from a wheelchair
There have been elders who listened to me when i couldn't talk with my parents - who listened well, gave great advice, and had the calm perspective of having lived through tragedy and joy, depression and war, deaths of loved ones.
I now have elders in my life that are part of my Carmelite group and we read together and i benefit from their wisdom. I play bridge and knit with others in their 80's, i enjoy talking about history with some gentlemen in 80s and 90s.
That being said - when i took care of my dad - his physical needs where physically exhausting to me and the constant worry about falls, about taking medicine, about dealing with dementia and resistance and violence - yes he was a burden. I was too exhausted to do anything but keep him physically safe. When he went into care - and a team was doing the physical work - i could again enjoy sitting with him and just going along with where ever his memories were.
So - i bet that you have people in your life who love you and love being with you. You seem like a great person
You seem like a very insightful and strong 86 year old, and I'm glad to learn that you are!