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Veronica, you could try clearing out the cookies? Though I must admit my brain has already adapted itself to ignoring pop-ups, margin ads etc etc etc - quicker than mucking about with my computer's security settings.

Given the range of topics we're discussing on the forum alone, though, my goodness they must be so confused about who on earth we all are..!
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Well it all makes work for the working man to do CM (The FBI)
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What a wonderful topic! On top of 5 dysfunctional siblings we have a hired companion for my elderly Mom who has over stepped her boundaries. She has injected herself into our family causing more dysfunction!disfunv
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Facebook......Schmacebook!
I don't have an account, nor will I ever!
It's bad enough some of the very same invasions of privacy happen on
some email accounts. Plus, we live in a world where people have lost their own sensibility about "sharing." I receive things from a professional site, for corporate people who want to connect. But when I've received these notices via my email,
they also ask whether you know the person. I dare not click on any of these,
just delete them. My husband who is way more connected via FB, although he too in the last three years, decided to make settings as private as possible get's on my case since he thinks I'm still living in another century, (e.g., he has an IPhone, I just have a basic phone, one still has to open up). Hey, but it works for me, and I'm just not ooed and awed about the latest thing a new phone app, can do. Surely, if I really, really felt like I needed to have something like this, say for a business I ran, etc., which I don't, that be a different story! If they create a phone that can make dinner, then maybe I'll consider investing in one. HAAH!

Veronica,
You know those barcodes are probably entering information about what you've bought, and then if you pay with a credit card, well there it is. That's how they track you that way.

There's a search engine that does not record your searches on the computer,
which is called, "Startpage." Check it out.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Veronica,

Oh, I re-read your post, you're buying online.
Well, yes if you buy online, they definitely get ahold of your information
in that manner.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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exactly, I don't even need to buy it, just look or google it, and I am getting emails FB posts etc.... I did have few things purchased at home depot and they had that compromise..Now I can go to there site and get credit protection free for a year but not sure how that works....cud be a nitemare scenario in the making who knows! I am not computer savvy enough...I would totally delete FB if it wasn't such a link to the outside world for me being the housebound nearly 24/7!! I def do not participate the way I did before but do like to be able to!

Margeaux - You are tooo funny, I nearly spit my coffee! We need Rosie, from the Jetsons!

I had to have a smartphone, just to have options away from home, like googling directions or info for errands / unexpected needs etc...or sitting in dr office, play games, watch movie etc....but that is all I can do with it, besides alarm and calendar! It is amazing what could be done with them these days!!!
I will be checking out that" startpage", Thx!
Have a good day all!
Peace, Juju!
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Juju,

Definitely if one needs, or their circumstances are such that you spend a lot of time at home, and you want to be connected that's different. I had a friend some years ago who was blind, and she is of the third age, so didn't grow up w/computers.
She relied heavily as you can imagine on social network, and just about anything that could assist her. So there are benefits. She became quite saavy at it, too.
Something I should do, and honestly I think this is also why people many times
get their privacy hacked, because they don't understand enough about protection.

I'm glad I made you laugh. Yes, we should get Rosie down here.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Hi all, Happy Monday. Not much going on with me but I'm reading and doing ok. 😊

Sharyn, out of everyone here I probably would have the least idea about how you felt about this incident but I can imagine it hurts quite a bit. I wish you much love and understanding to move past it all. 💜

Emjo, the "think about what you want your life to be like in 5 years" advice was really good stuff, thank you. Putting it in that mind frame has helped lessen some of my immediate panic about how WRONG everything is at the moment and realize that there's no reason that I can't find ways to improve my quality of life and I know the small steps will lead to the bigger changes. It's hard for me to explain, but that bit of advice was very on point for me and where I'm at. Thank you.

Me1000, you have so much on your plate and it makes sense that you aren't functioning very well, that you aren't feeling good, or sleeping good. I wish I had advice. I do think that doing some slow yoga or meditation or deep breathing every day would be helpful. I don't know if you can get out of the house for a walk around the block every day, but that would be helpful, too. Just remember to let everything go and gently keep your focus on your meditation or breathing so that you get a soothing mental break each day from the constant chaos.

My dad missed 2 days of medications this past week. I check his pill box about once a week, but generally trust him to be taking his meds daily if they're in the pill minder box. I spoke to him about the missed days and he wasn't aware that he had missed any even though I showed him that Saturday's entire morning/evening dose was still in the box and it's now Monday. I also covertly took a picture of the pill box and date and am going to add this to my file of things to present to doctor/psych so that I can try to get him evaluated for mental disability or early dementia... something.

I made a new friend recently - a male friend. He's really sweet and creative and interesting, and we have a lot of similar interests. I've decided that "dating" is off the menu for me right now, but getting any amount of positivity and means of emotional support in my life would be most welcome. He also grew up and has spent his entire 43 years of life living in the city of Chicago and I would like his help trying to see if Chicago would be a good fit for me long term. There are people that really love this city, and he is one of them, but I have yet to figure out why this gray, crowded, crime-ridden city is that great. 😉 I would like to make a decision within the next couple of months one way or another about putting roots down in Chicago.

(((Hugs))) to all. Hope everyone is well. 🌺

P.s. I figured out that the emoticon/emoji symbols for Facebook will work on here, too. You don't have to have a Facebook account to access them, just Google "Facebook emoticons" and there are multiple independent sites that have them, if you ever want to use them. I personally think they're rather cute.
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I do have more thing to investiage...discovered yesterday. On the 24th when hubs was texting back and forth with Kate, he received a call on his cell, talked for 11 min....the number is 1-800 from western union. I have to know what this about. I could check bank statement for debits on his card or must ask him. Not sure which.
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Margeaux, my shopping consists of local grocery stores, internet and thrift stores. Can no longer cope with the crowds and walking involved in going to a mall. My cell phone is so old I have to wind it up before I use it. I carry it for emergencies and have the cheap consumer cellular plan and most months don't use it at all. I am going to change it for one that consumer cellular has which has a GPS locater on it in case I fall in the woods. I like being alone and my idea of h*ll would be going to a senior center and getting to know other old ladies of my age!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sharyn wait till you see the statements first. No point in making yourself look like a snoop if there is no need. he might have purchased something for you on ebay and paid via Western union. trust has to start somewhere. if you persue this kind of behaviour it WILL drive him away. If you believe he is sorry leave it at that till you learn otherwise. men are stupid as many have said here. I wish I had know what I know now 20+ years ago.
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I so agree Veronica !! Some women (least I did) felt the need to investigate to no end. Even though he'd been caught, hook line n sinker. I had to uncover and make more out of things than were necessary. Even though he was wrong, my pointing it out didn't help a thing. It did drive him away. Not sure where it drove him, apparently to 3 more marriages/divorces. Moral of the story, pick those battles wisely . Say you do find out what or whom called... doesn't mean you use it or mention it. That, is the hardest... best to let it go and see where things go from here. So sorry... men! Hmph!
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I sure wish my Iphone made dinner!
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Fligirl58,

HAAH! I tell you if that were possible, I'd get one tomorrow!

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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We are getting closer, with 3D printers! For now call out pizza will have to do!
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Thanks Veronica, Jeannette, Alison. Our joint checking acct has my name on it too, but I don't contribute to it because hubs wanted all the control and power over money...meaning, there was never any extra money to fix this, to buy a new pair of pants and so on...even though I was contributing. Yet, if the TV stopped working, his little butt was out the door the same night to buy a new TV. I stopped contributing my paycheck and opened my own separate accounts after 13 years of marriage. He has a password on the account now so if I call to see how much $$ is in checking before I write a check for groceries...I can't get the info. I only use the joint account to buy things for dinners on my days off work when I actually have time to cook for us. The password is a recent thing too.

The reason I want to know if he used his debit/credit card to wire Kate money, is because it changes the stakes in this marriage....meaning he is more involved that I realized and I have to know that for my future. It means that he most likely will continue to be doing things behind my back.

In order for me to move forward, I must have the entire truth behind this whole affair. It is not that I am digging for more evidence that he has other women besides Kate or that he is continuing to communicate with Kate. My hubs is too frugal to buy me a gift, besides...he has his own credit card with Sears that is not associated with our joint account that I have no way knowing what he uses it for...that in itself is fine...he applied for this card some years back when we bought a new washer and dryer.

I use my paycheck to pay my car payment, my LTC policy payment and for personal maintenance like hair cuts, clothes, makeup, gifts and other things that involve home, marriage and family. This is what my accountants are used for..sometimes I buy lunch or dinner not only for myself but for him as well. I have taken him out for dinner on his birthday and paid for dinner at Red Lobster. I paid for 90% of the cost of our daughter's baby shower back in May.

Sorry, I am ranting but I feel I have been treated badly by him in different ways and this is the icing on the cake for me. I am owed the whole truth. I guess my anger is starting to take over the pain I have been feeling.
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I have ask the question through out my life. " Why Me?" "what have I ever done" "why won't he do this to the others" - After what went on tonight, I had no were to turn. So the questions came back up again. So I started typing in the words "why Me" Why does he do this to only me" and so on. Well, I came up onto a site called " Toxic Families" I read it, oh, did I ever read it. Then I started going to other sites on the subject, even pinterest has the subject there. More I read the more I thought, how did they know my life. What I go through, what happens and always have happen for so many years. (let me say this, I have been with the same guy for many of years and even have grown kids on their own.) But yet my father has yet to treat me ever like his own. I am a ugly duck, outcast, his worst child, you name it. I bet what ever other word you come up with, he would already said it. I have never been in trouble, no jail, no drugs, no drinking, I did not walk off from my kids, never ask for anything, have not taken anything. But he yet treats me like I am not his. But yet, if the siblings are not around and he is fighting with them. I the best thing around. As soon as they are back in the picture, hell broke loss. So I am in h*ll once again. Well, with in two hours of walking out of his house, I have blocked his numbers. I figure out, I have to walk away for ever. I have to give up the MPOA for my mother, because I can't take it any longer. He has caused me to have two nerves brake downs, shingles, and he has mentally and physically abuse me through out my life. I want nothing of his and he thinks I want it all. I don't hoarder money like he does. I don't steal like he does. I don't go spend money that I don't have like he does and then want to know why he don't have any. I am not like that what so ever. I want a simple life with less stress and all. I want to live the rest of my days out resting and loving life. But I can't do that as long as he is around. So I have to go back on a promise and walk off. To leave my mother to the wolfs, that is no lie. It took them almost 9 months to almost kill her the last time. But I have to do this. I am close to another brake down and i can't go there again. I have to throw away the toxic and bring in pure fresh air.
I deserve it, more then anyone else in this family. So I am trying to figure out how to relinquish MPOA of mom (dementia). I can not take it any longer. My family is not dysfunctional. My family is straight Toxic.
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Sharynmarie,

I completely understand the fact that you would want to know the whole truth. It's easy for people to suggest that you not push it any further, however you are now feeling the first emotion after the shock and hurt. Besides, even if people say they are sorry about the way they handled their own situations.....it's easy to hand out advice, because for them it's now in their pasts. I feel that when it's fresh as in your case, there is still what I would call the reasonable time frame, now, for you to find out these initial facts about the damage he's done, and it is for you to move forward. Your own reasons for doing this, as far as I can see are solid. Do what you have to do.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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" Im going to stab you in the neck and kill you" my son yells this morning. Daily he calls me Ass&*le, fuc$%^, hey idiot, etc from him, threats of killing us, daughter refused to go to school again, obssed with video games/electronics,( still undiagnosed Autism but agreed what it looks like by her Dr) both are grounded now. Do I take them to the E.R or the Pysch Hospital here and beg them to admit them?

Grandpa says get rid of them, grandpas demands andp ut downs are still the same.. I will never be a great cook even though I follow recipes, Im ok but thats it, sometimes I mess up the food but oh well.. well all is the same otherwise.. the usual my wonderful amazing life. Amazing how hated I am from my family and apparently my kids...
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I'd call 911 on the son and have him taken to the psych hospital due to his threats to kill. Your daughter's doctor has not made an official diagnosis about Autism? She needs a new doctor who will diagnosis her and give her some medicine.
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There must be a law in place that will permit you to leave your son at the ER and tell them you cannot provide the care he needs. We can do that with elders that we care for, new babies, must be able to do it with school age children as well. You have done so much for your family, but there comes a time when you need to realize you cannot and will not any longer.
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Sharyn, I agree with Margeaux, this is still part of the initial problem and you really do deserve to know what has transpired, you may not ever get the whole story, unfortunately, but it is part of working it out...to know exactly what you are dealing with! Once you have gotten thru this situation and moved on, that is when to let it rest, not to live life in suspect daily.
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Sharyn you have handled this well and you do deserve to get the whole truth so you can decide what to do. Cmag once again you are the voice of reason
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195Austin, Thanks. I've made that 911 call about a family member who was a danger to others.
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1000...yes if you feel the need use the 911 and ER then maybe you should!
Also "maybe" just for the sake of helping if you can without causing problem or safety issue, record an outburst,cell phone/etc..not sure bout that just an idea ???!
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Hi all, just an update!

Mum went to her doc as i rang after! doc is now refusing to speak to me as she told him not to? doc says shes fine was told this by receptionist? told her ok but im getting SS involved then and she said yes i think youre right?
Finally after a wk got hold of SS and she will call to see mum ive told her i can do no more so they need to get involved now.

I took my cat which wasnt easy he cried for two hours which hurt like hell but he seems ok now and sleeping. I will keep him in for a few days!

went to house and its a mess hasnt been cleaned since i left SO mums back to living like a baglady and brother cant seem to see this is NOT NORMAL?

Im ok am angry as h*ll but now SS are invloved i can do no more! its hard to beleive its come to this but something had to give.

I am coming down but its not easy and will take time. Mums birthday and christmas coming so i just have to stay away.

Hugs to all
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Me1000,

Stop listening to your grandfather.
It can be understood why you feel so defeated.
But you do have to do something about your son's threats of violence.
I would hate to think who he may hurt in your household, then what??
Take car of business as a mother, and your grandfather's needs aren't a good reason not!

Find the courage,
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Oops! "Take care of business," "a good reason not to."
Margeaux
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Hi Cmagnum,

How are you?
Very good advice!

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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M1000 im just reading things here and OMG you are going through h*ll? protect yourself and get help so sorry for you noone should have to live in fear.

Hope you get this sorted. I dont know how you keep saine?

Hugs and hope as suggested ER may be the answer? what an awful situation to be in i really feel for you!

Family honestly? who needs them! Its hard to explain your dysfunctional family to friends and strangers some just cant believe it?
Oh i may write a book since coming here family are just capable of anything hard to believe we have same blood?
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