
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
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You only need to find yourself.
Everything else can be googled.
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I don’t want people to fix me.
I just want them to stop breaking me
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You inspire me to be
nothing like you.
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"Awesome" ends with "Me".
Coincidence?
I think not.
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Judge me by the people I avoid.
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Thou shalt not stress over the opinion of an irrelevant, **** person.
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Anyone want to meet up and just scream? We could get food after.
Lol, that would of been a great reply!! 😀
Was this the POA ( POS) brother ? The guy who had Mom sign her house over to him and doesn’t hire the care she needs or place Mom ?
If so , I would have said ,” Mom wants to go boating with you ! “ And left entirely when you moved your car .
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Happiness looks
gorgeous on you.
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I hope you heal from things
no one ever apologized for.
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You're only as pretty
as you treat people.
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Resting beach face.
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Happy unsticking your thighs from a plastic chair
season.
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The only BS
I need
is bikinis & sandals.
No worries, not upset, no advice needed, my give a care about any of them is just dead inside, in a good way.
Daisy - you may well be right about your bro. It's not nice but it's better that you are aware of it.
Great that the therapist is proving helpful for you. Hope you are over the depression and have the meds you need. Nearly finished your Master's Degree!!!! Wow. I think back to what seems like a few years ago when you were first contemplating going back to school. It feels like it happened very quickly, though I know you put enormous amounts of work into your studies and it has taken some years.
You are at a cross road again and that can be unnerving. I guess licensing is the next big hurdle? Something will work out job wise/study wise. Do you have any friendly supportive profs who have any ideas for you?
People do do it all the time and no question you can do it!!! I have faith in you. 😊
I'm sorry, but not surprised to hear that your dad is declining. I'm glad your mother is overseeing his care, even though the circumstances aren't great. It's good to hear that you are not worrying. You have enough to deal with. I get the ambiguity about Father's Day.
So pleased to get an update from you. I have been wondering how you are,
((((Hugs)))) and do keep on updating us. I am very interested to find out where you are going from here.
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Don’t be afraid to start all over again. You may like your new story better.
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Listen to what people don’t say.
My father's quality of life is pretty low. He can't walk or get out without great effort due to COPD. He doesn't eat much and is losing weight. He was hospitalized recently for a urinary blockage/infection--similar to issues I dealt with for years when he had a catheter and then sepsis. I don't know how long he can keep going, but I'm grateful my mom is managing his care, even if I think the *whole situation* with him living with her in her nearly-uninhabitable house is dysfunctional. I accept it's their right to make their choices, and thank goodness that someone's covering things, so I don't worry about it.
I didn't call him for Father's Day, though I thought about it all day long. It's just one of those things, I guess, that stem from all the years of dysfunction--I felt emotionally paralyzed about the idea of just making a simple call. I had too much internal conflict. Now, I wish I had called him, as performative as it would have been. Some years I do call him, some years I don't, but I always KNOW when it's Father's Day, and it brings up a mix of feelings.
Sharyn, you might research taking a d-mannose supplement for the chronic UTIs. It's proven effective.
The discussion about OTC pain relievers is interesting to me. At times in my life, I made a point to switch what I was taking out of concern for liver/kidneys. Thankfully, I don't need them much anymore! Take good care of yourselves.
Waghmg, I can relate to your story in some ways. The situation stinks, but I admire you for showing up for your mom and leaving the drama and the rest of the dysfunction aside, as best you can.
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Keep your head up, when things don’t go your way, because some good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.
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4 smart sentences:
One day, all of your hard work will pay off.
Sometimes the universe does you a favor by NOT giving you what you wanted.
Give yourself permission to step away from anyone who is not good for your mental health.
What is meant for you will never pass you by. 🌈🙂⭐️
🫂🫂, you have done the best you can do! 💕💕💕
usually people talk about the family dynamic of those who make themselves scarce and leave the bulk to one family member. That’s not what happened to me at all.
I felt she needed hospice care long before now. It had become a silent power struggle and before I could step away my brother/SIL removed me altogether from the picture forcefully. Absolutely no communication that I begged for which he has always refused to have with me anyway. I just never thought it would come to this.
I am no longer a caregiver for my mom. I no longer have any say in her care at all. I don’t even get updates. I have to dig to find anything out. My brother and his wife have taken over to ‘save’ my 90 yo mom with multiple serious health issues who has been hospitalized 8 !!! times in 2 years. This time she was finally mechanically ventilated. She is now set up for more of the same. I found out by accident she was hospitalized because I called her rehab facility. I feel like I’m watching a train wreck in slow motion being well aware of the ending that’s coming.
I still visit her to let her know I love her. Even though my brother/SIL are present in the room I only focus on mom. Her cognition is being affected by it all. So sometimes she didn’t recognize me. I hold her hand. She can’t say but a couple of words at a time. There is no conversation with her anymore. She doesn’t have the ability.
I refuse to get into any words with my brother but quietly slip away until next time I can see mom. I have no doubt soon it will be my last. Then maybe she will finally be at peace.
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Stop the negative self-talk.
Your brain is always listening.
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Sometimes by losing a battle,
you find a new way to win the war.
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Whoever abandoned you in the middle of the ocean
has no right to know what the sharks did to you or
how you managed to get back to shore.