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I've been caring for my mom who is suffering from Alzheimer's for the last 3 years. She used to go to a daycare half a day which gave me some relief but due to her wandering, they discharged her 2 weeks ago. Considering the Corona virus, we have been home since. I try all variety of entertainments for her via satellite since she dosen't speak English. She is a very clean person in general but sometimes she has had a few accidents that she had wet herself but never this new one! She gets very embarrassed so she hides or throw away the underwears. I've noticed since 5 days ago she's been having #2 in the trash bucket next to her bed as well as next to the toilet! My husband or myself have noticed this! I don't know if she actually sits on the bucket to do the job or she takes it out of toilet and put it there since my husband has found a piece on the floor far away from the toilet! She blames it on my poor husband that he does that so she won't live there anymore! Of course it's been her habit that anything bad happens, he is at fault! I have not introduced diaper yet but she has pads that she won't use them since already she says, she's not a kid! Rest of her behaviors are good and tolerable but this new thing is getting on our nerves! I don't know why it suddenly happened? How can I change this disgusting behavior to stop. Please help me!🙏

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Because this is *new*, it needs careful checking out. You can't make any assumptions about why it's happening.

Is the stool (your mother's poo) that you're seeing normal, or do you think she might have either diarrhoea or constipation?

Any other changes, such as finding it difficult to stand or walk around, which might make it difficult for her to get to the toilet in time?

It could be that faecal matter is sticking to her and she's having trouble reaching to wipe as normal.

For night-time, as she's clearly having to go in a hurry, the obvious solution is a commode next to her bed. She's not a kid, no; but this would save her having to get to the bathroom in the dark, or disturb the house during the night - I'm sure you can think of lots of reasons to encourage her to use a commode without embarrassing her.
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OneBlueMoon Mar 2020
Thanks for your help. The stool is normal and she has no problem with walking or sitting! This is very unusual that has happened and she dosen't remember it at all except she said once(tonight) she saw the stool in the toilet and wasn't flushing but it wasn't hers! (Everyone has their own toilet in the house). That's why I thought she maybe took it out and put it in the bucket! She has no problem going to pee in the toilet during the night and I don't want to introduce new thing to learn. I'm just confused why the stool either in the bucket next to her bed or next to the toilet!🤔
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So your mother explained on one occasion that she saw this 'foreign object' floating in the loo and took it out - yikes! - because it "wasn't hers" and wouldn't flush down; but you've noticed problems on other occasions too? And all within the last five days?

"Floaters" aren't a healthy sign. I believe (but don't quote me) that they tend to indicate undigested/unabsorbed fats in the gut. It does warrant watching and/or investigation.

#1 - lead her gently but firmly to the bathroom, fill a hand basin, and scrub her hands with plenty of soap. 😰 Dry carefully. If she's resisting try making a kind of impromptu manicure session of the whole business to jolly her along.

#2 - keep a discreet eye on her, looking out for any signs of digestive upset or discomfort especially. Before this all came up, did you know more or less what her usual bowel habit was like?
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OneBlueMoon Mar 2020
Thank you for your respond.
I know she has no problems with bowl movements. She also didn't say the stool was "floating", but just existing in the toilet. I'm guessing she picked it up and put it in the bucket cause it wasn't flushing! I did noticed the toilet was clogged in the morning too! So my guess could be right! But I don't know the reason for doing it in ther trash bin next to her bed! Before, she had occasional #1 accidents but i had noticed she either hand washed her panties herself, hiding them or throw them away! Before 2 months ago she was very clean and very religious about being tidy of her bathroom hygiene. This new condition has happened after the locked down of the city due to the virus! Before she was going to a daycare and now she's home due to her age(90) and her doctor's advice. She does have entertainment and doing gardening but still bored. I've removed all the buckets so she doesn't think they're toilets! Now she leaves all the tissues she dries herself with on the floor!!! I don't know what to do to stop repeating of these bad habits. I'm sick myself due to a back injury and worry about this to continue. Can't afford to hire a caretaker either. Please give me your suggestion. 🙏🙏🙏
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My good friend mentioned weird bathroom habits in her mother long before she really accepted how far she had regressed, it was one of the wake up calls that had her get her mom tested and she was floored by how severely impaired her mom really was. You are likely going to need to step up your oversight of her toileting and insist on some form of incontinence product - gird you loins for battle!
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OneBlueMoon Mar 2020
Yes I do know she has alzhiemer, but this just happened suddenly after the Corona virus shut down! I don't know why and how to stop it(she won't wear dipers)!😞
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I like to this recommend Teepa Snow video series to people who are struggling to understand their loved ones with dementia

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVl8vTLjje8ESAEvpjVoVTEK-_6X2jTdl
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OneBlueMoon - is your mother's toilet working correctly or not?
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Its time for you to be with her when she goes to the bathroom. Like suggested, maybe a commode next to her bed. If u haven't yet get a monitor so you can hear her get up in the middle of the night. At one time I was able to get Mom to hollar that she was going to the bathroom. For us the door to her bathroom was nor much more than 10 ft away.

There is no ryhmn or reason why they do things. The brain is broken. Maybe her mind she is back where she was potty trained. A child not believing that that thing belongs to them. I had a small table right outside Moms bathroom door. Mom had pulled down her Depends and did a #2 on it. Why, in her mind it was the toilet.?
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