My mother passed in 2018 and within six months my father was involved with a 35 year old woman who was trying to scam him. I believe she used the information from my mother's obituary to convince him she had been a nurse who was taking care of my mother.
He then had an appropriate relationship with a 78 year old woman who was introduced to him by a friend. That lasted 18 months until he set his eyes on a 61 year old who had just lost her husband.
Since that time he has had at least 4 other women under the age of 50 that he was pursuing. He will tell you he knows all of these women and they are friends of his. I know this is not true.
Two weeks before I had to go out of town he told me one of the waitresses wanted to rent a room from him. I think he was fishing to see what my response was going to be. He told me he told her that would not be a good idea. I then when through all of the problems that could be associated with that. He waited until I left to go out of town for three weeks and then moved her in. He told me he was just trying to help her out because her apartment had been flooded and that she was a home healthcare nurse and a big help to him.
I spent several months getting all of his accounts and finances in order. After this girl moved in his credit card was compromised. I realized I would need to go in and reattach all of his bills to the new credit card. When I started the process I found out he had went in after I had fixed everything with all of his accounts and changed the usernames and passwords on most of the accounts. When I confronted him about this is blatantly denied doing that. User names can't be accidentally changed.
This is just the readers digest version of what has been going on for the past six years. I'm at my wit's end with him and this. I don't know if I just need to walk away and let him come to his on demise or what. From everything I have checked I don't have many options and I know I'm not the only person dealing with this type of issue. My concern is he is going to get himself physically hurt or become destitute.
Do you have POA for health and or finances?
If your dad is cognizant...he can make decisions for himself.
If dad has dementia....
1. He should not be living alone.
2. He should not have access to his accounts.
3. All his personal information should not be left where is could be compromised.
4. He should not have a credit card.
If you are not POA and dad does have dementia you may have a difficult time getting POA you may have to become his Guardian.
If you fill out info in your profile it would help.
If your father doesn't have dementia then he is free to lose all his money and suffer the consequences. I wouldn't partake in his life and his problems if that's his choice and would tell him so. He either could make all accounts safe by putting in his name but with me as POA signee, or he could just be on his own when the poop hits the fan.
If he has dementia you need to act at once for guardianship to safeguard his funds for his own use. But that's a BIG JOB so watch what you wish for.
Then freeze his credit, go online and cancel his cards again if necessary. Figure out who is changing his user names and passwords, maybe secure his phone or device. Tell his bank he is a current scam risk. Start eviction process to get her out. Go to your Dad's and secure his sensitive paperwork (checkbook, passport, ss card, banking info). Go there every day if possible and spend time in the house to make her feel uncomfortable. Your Dad seems to have cognitive problems and can no longer make decisions in his own best interests. Once your PoA is legitimately active you don't have to tell him what you're doing if he's going to work against you. Don't tell the woman, either.