A resident who only gives her SS check to NH, all she has!
OOops guess wrong forum but maybe someone can give me insight. My profile say 2 yrs of caring for mom, it has been over until March 2024, she broke hip in fall.
Hello everyone only posted once about mom losing her Medicaid. By the way I added my mom & I pic from her 95th birthday on Friday the 3rd. (Not a fish, wink,.wink! Feel sorry for anyone if they would have a need to be one!) Brought a quarter sheet delicious red velvet cake with raspberry filling, enough for all to enjoy! I was so happy to see her, though my anxiety was thru the roof, I made it through the day! I was very upset to find almost all her personal clothing gone, including a brand new pair of soft leather flats with the comfy rubber dots on soles. 2 pairs of dearfoam slippers gone, only an old pair of canvas shoes wore the day she broke her hip. While hanging up 4 new night gowns & 3 new robes from (1 from home) as well as her last maxi dress, I think last January when she saw me in a long dress she said she never had 1, so I bought her 5! leaving 4 there when I brought 5 new gowns (from Christmas, she entered in March) 2 or 3 robes. For her birthday last week I also bought her had bought her 2 new pairs of memory foam dearfoam slippers, 1 pair are enclosed & the other slide on even more comfortable, she prefers the open back, but has been getting cold those looked so comfy, she slid them right on & didn't take them off! I find maybe 3 empty hangars, I had brought ones to accommodate the new clothing as I did when she entered rehab. She had only one gown which she had on, my cousin told me she asked her to buy her a night gown when she came down from GA The physical therapist bought her a house dress/robe. Everything was gone & didn't even think about the leather shoes, only why the hell would anyone take the few things she had?? I clearly printed her name in permanent marker & this isn't a huge facility! Even an insolated tumbler with lid was gone! I then asked her how her food was, she quickly said I get what they give me usually Tuna! She wouldn't eat that in my home but I guess she eats it or starves??!! She quickly pointed to her room mate & said she gets a menu because she pays, but because mom only has her SS check to pay them, she doesn't at least get a choice of at least 2 things?!!Well I cannot afford to bring her food daily but I will bring her food at least 3/4 times a week. Some beef stew tomorrow as it tastes better the next day & just got groceries in myself. A box of the breakfast bars she likes, already brought some candies she likes on her birthday. I am hoping that will will heat up some instant flavored oatmeal she likes if I bring it in? I am still getting the run around got to this agency, that agency telling her story over & over for nothing, no help!II feel so bad, but I am physically not able to pick her up, I tried once so she could stand in her new bootie slippers & wasn't able to! She does not use her walker alone anymore & wheelchair is her mode of transportation. I have one here for her but my doors are not wide enough & even though it is pretty much a straight shot of maybe 3' to her bathroom & maybe 15' to kitchen, my poor walls & doors are all marked up. Moved into this home maybe half a yr prior to having to move her in & paid over $5k for new paint & carpet. I know it is not her fault but my poor carpet looks 10 yrs old from Walker & spills. I had bought these little "skis" for the bag legs of walker to try & help on the wear & tear. Sorry, rambling again.Has anyone heard of rationing & providing only 1 choice of food for a nursing home resident? You really cannot say she is a non payer, They get over $1100 a month. I guess I am going to make some more phone calls, better jump on it now, it is getting late! Thanks for any input everyone & A happy & healthy New Years to all
Truthfully, the only way you're going to get anyone to heat up the oatmeal she likes or any other meal you bring is to go there yourself and do it or hire someone to go and do it. Many families hire private caregivers/companions for their people in nursing homes and AL facilities. So, if you were to hire an aide a couple of hours a couple evenings a week, that would be the time to send the beef stew and any other meals from home because your hire will ensure that your mother gets them.
As for them taking her entire Social Security check. That's how it works. Your mother's $1,100 a month covers a couple of days in the nursing home. The rest is paid for by Medicaid or some other insurance. So really, you can say she is a non-payer save for the few days a month her check actually covers.
Nursing homes usually offer two choices of meal. A hot meal or a cold meal (like sandwiches) unless the resident is on a soft diet or has other dietary restrictions. There's no rationing of food going on.
If you suspect the nursing home is withholding food or rationing the residents' meals, that should be reported at once to the state's Ombudsman's Office.
I don't know what to say, really, other than to hope you both can hang in there the best you can.
I know that you know that you aren't alone in this.
Be certain ALL clothing is well marked in indelible ink so that the clothing at least cannot be used THERE in front of her.
Wishing you the best. She has you. That's what's important, as much as all this hurts.
I would demand they find her clothes and return them. Yes Mom was missing clothes occasionally. As suggested, I took pictures of everything. Even her glasses. I did her wash in the beginning so did not have theft problems. Only after I allowed them to do her laundry. If Mom shares a room and has a closet, check the other closet/s in the room to see if the aide put them in the wrong one. If she shares a closet and has one side and her roommate the other, check the roommates side.
As far a clothing is concerned, does the facility have inventory sheets. Most of the facilities I interviewed did have inventory sheet and also provided labeling services. When I presented the missing clothing list they matched it to the inventory list and anything they lost was replaced. Ironically, they did find some missing items as well.
Good luck.
I would guess if your mother's name is Betty, a thief might not take something with "Betty" embroidered very clearly across the front. ◡̈