I left my job to bring my Alzheimer's mother in and care for her. At this time she told me that she would cover my utilities and car payments until she / we figured out a plan for her. She ended up declining quickly and was put in a memory care unit. My siblings asked me to remain available / on call for mom, when they had problems with her at the facility and needed a family member to go there, transportation to and from appointments, etc. So I did. My mother recently made some improvements with changes in medication and is back home with my stepfather. Now she says she never made that agreement with me, she doesn't remember even staying with me for that period of time, basically lost like 3 months of memory, remembers nothing from that period. So she went to her bank and had all of the payments reversed, so I now have 3 months due on each bill that she had paid and then had the payments reversed (months after the fact.). I don't understand how the bank could do that but anyway that's the least of my concerns. She now is not speaking to me. It is my understanding that to get payments reversed like that you have to claim fraud, so now I'm like okay am I going to be charged with a crime because she doesn't remember making the agreement? And I know how it sounds and looks because there are a lot of cases where the Alzheimer's person is scammed and taken advantage of, but this is not one of them. My siblings say they don't know anything about it and don't want to be involved. Seriously? Yeah, none of you wanted to take care of her and I stepped up and left my job and everything to do so, and now you don't want to be involved? I am mortified that I may be charged with a crime. And beyond words about the whole situation in general.
Wait until you have been served a legal paper; or t h e police come to your door asking about the incident. Do not take your Mother's word. It is common knowledge that dementia patient's accuse others of theft, fraud, abuse etc.
So sorry for you that you are it. She is now a danger to you. Let her pick someone else to accuse. Others may have a better solution, but I would protect myself and stay away. That is exactly what my husband and I must do with his Mom. It is a difficult choice when you care about someone, but they will definitely HURT you.
There is no explanation of why they will pick you. Don't take it personal just won't protect you. Take care of yourself.
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