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Mother has lived with us for the past 12 years. While at her doctor's appointment we were advise that she get a POA in place. She wanted Rebecca (my wife, her daughter) to be Attorney in Fact (POA) with no agents and stated that she did not want her other 2 daughters involved in her finances. Now they want full disclosure of all her finances. The 1 daughter stepped up at the 11th hour and did home care for her in Fla. for about 26 months. She was paid very well for that task. Prior to that, very little family contact. The other sister who started this has had almost no contact with me or mother. For the past several years she never once offered to watch mother for a few hours or have her at her house (8 minutes away) to give my husband and I a little break. We have been caring for mother since 2010 when she moved here and 2001 when she lived in Cicero upon my dad's death. I would have welcomed help from them with open arms and certainly answer any financial questions while I was POA. We live in New York state.

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Sorry, I totaled missed that mom is now gone. She died.
No, you don't owe anyone anything from the past. Just ignore such requests.
What IS owed not is that the executor, whomever that is, carries out the will as it is written.
Hopefully that is being done.
The rest is he-said/she-said and total nonsense.
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Watson13367 Nov 2024
thank you for your help I did not explain that my mother-in law did not have a will. When the topic came up about what she wanted after she passed, she just would not want to talk about it......
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This from the internet to let you know that you not only SHOULD not but you are not ALLOWED to share private information of the principal. This is not about your choice or about you proving anything to anyone. This is about legal financial fiduciary duty to your principal:


"Not obligated
A Power of Attorney (POA) is not obligated to share private financial information with anyone they wish. Sharing such information may violate the POA's duty of loyalty to the principal13. A valid POA can access the principal's financial accounts, file taxes, make investment decisions, and collect debts on behalf of the principal2.
Learn more:"
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Frebrowser Dec 2024
I agree that the obligation to protect private information certainly applies during the principal’s lifetime. In this case, she has passed away.

If she had a will and her POA was also her executor, that person would already have the information that they need regarding assets and liabilities. In this case, there is no will.

State law may vary, but I would expect that while the erstwhile POA isn’t required to share transaction information from the principal’s lifetime, she would share asset and liability information with whoever is legally responsible for handling the estate, unless she seeks and obtains that authority herself.

Some liability information may result in some transaction information becoming known, e.g., payroll taxes due on wages paid to sister in Florida.

Legal advice is an excellent idea when deciding how to deal with an intestate estate.
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Exactly! It is the POA's duty to keep those matters private. The interested parties can start a legal action if they think funds are being mismanaged.
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Nope, it’s none of the sisters’s business.
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If your wife has POA then she is in charge of all incoming and outgoing monies.

She does NOT have to share anything with her sisters. Legally. Morally, another story.

My DH just finished his run as his mom's executor. He kept a spreadsheet of all expenditures and income. He shared it with his sibs. They worked together to sell things, clear the house, etc.

He full well knew he didn't HAVE to tell his sibs anything, but he chose to.

Actually, since her death, POA ends. Who is her executor? If it's Rebecca, then she goes on as before, paying & clearing up debts & selling properties, etc.

At this point, POA means nothing. When the estate is liquidated, all the money issues should come out and be addressed.

Inheritances are paid acc to the literal will of the person who has passed. My BIL did next to nothing for either his mom or dad, yet inherited the exact same amount of money, since that's what his parents wanted. It doesn't matter how much one person has done or not...it's all about how the will is stated.
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Let go of the “who did what” it’s in the past and doesn’t matter anymore. POA doesn’t matter also, it ends with death. I was my dad’s executor and as such didn’t have to explain anything to my siblings. I chose to hire a lawyer to distribute money, didn’t have to, but wanted my hands off it. He wrote letters to them both spelling out what they were getting, neither were given information on what anyone else was getting. It worked out well
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If the dear lady has passed, the person who is executor of her estate takes care of settling the estate - and the finances. Start by paying all bills off. If there are property taxes or other taxes that will need to be paid, then keep all money until those are paid off. Then, any finances or valuables are to be divided per the will. Whatever happened prior to death does not matter now. The only caveat is if somebody is making a claim to money or property as being due to him/her for "services" provided prior to death. In this case, make sure that there is good documentation to back up the claim.
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I’d assume that this ‘difficult’ sister is one who will inherit something under the intestacy. If so, she may be thinking that the estate ought to have more in it, hence an increase in her share. She might think that the amount left is too small because the POA dealt badly with it and/or ‘stole’ some of it. If she could prove that, she might get more money. It’s wrong to say that the past is now totally irrelevant, it is just possible that it could be – just unlikely.

However her request is what is called ‘a fishing expedition’. She wants you to provide the information to prove the case that will increase her share. She can’t make you do this, but a court could – IF she starts proceedings (a civil case, not a criminal prosecution) and convinces the court that there is something in it.

The advice to pay the bills is sound, they have to be paid whether Sis is right or not. You don’t have to respond to the fishing expedition unless you want to, which you might perhaps choose to do in order to stop allegations and gossip. I’d suggest that you say that you aren't required to provide information but are willing to help. Ask her for details of what information she wants, what dates, what types of transactions, what amounts, and why. Put her on the back foot, and find out if she has any ideas about what if anything might be wrong. You can chose to answer then, it’s up to you. Don't jump, but don't duck either. Keep it cool!
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Fast answer: Nope, you do don't have to legally or ethically hand over any information. The reason they're doing that is second-guess any money you spent and how you spent it. No other reason for them to want that information. The answer is easy: "No."
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My advice is have an attorney contact available because I had to handle a decade long probate case and that was the absolute pits. All it takes is one person to screw it all up and this sister sounds like the one….

Get legal advice to navigate this.
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