Any advice about taking my mom to a geriatric specialist to get evaluated for memory problems? How do I share information with the doctor?

Xanax can cause all sorts of cognitive issues, as can depression and sleep apnea. Combine all 3 together, and you may find yourself believing your mom is suffering from dementia when she may not be. It's pretty hard to breeze through the mini mental exams if a person is really suffering dementia. I knew mom was mentally declining in 2016 and had her tested for dementia when she was hospitalized. She scored an 18 out of 30 on the mini exam and couldn't draw a clock, never mind show the time. She was diagnosed with progressive dementia at That time. She was doing ok though, functioning well, although incontinent and suffering insomnia in cycles. This past May, after a bout of pneumonia and a stint in rehab she scored a 10 on the MOCHA test and had to go from Assisted Living to Memory Care. She still has times of great lucidity, but very strange behavioral issues, angry outbursts and agitated verbal and physical activity. Dementia does not just involve memory.....it presents itself in many different ways. My father, for instance, did not suffer from dementia but could no longer handle the finances either. There can be a decline in mental function in the elderly without dementia being involved.

A real sign of dementia for most is when they have no concept of time. Mom is always off on what day of the week it is. She has no idea what time of day it is or that 6 pm means I'm eating dinner so she shouldn't call. Phones and remote controls become very confusing to use, thermostats are foreign, anything that has controls or buttons is problematic. Mom could work the DVD player in April and by May was clueless. I had to turn off the answering machine because she couldn't remember the password or how to listen to messages. It's getting more and more difficult for her to make phone calls or to remember to press the off button when done.

Repeating the same story or sentence is common as well. Having to repeat yourself is very common, sometimes 10x in one visit. My mother suddenly started introducing me as her mother one day. Yet she could carry on a conversation from pure muscle memory. The Hello How Are You type of chats that she'd had socially for decades were and are still intact. This is the dichotomy of dementia.

Don't feel like you have to tell the doctor every little thing they're doing or saying that may seem off. Its a good idea to keep a noebook of happenings so you can remember the incidents when at an appointment. The mini cognitive tests ARE accurate enough to establish a baseline and to measure decline from that point forward. The decline can be pretty slow......you may notice a step down at some point that seems pretty big....but it can take years to get there.

A UTI will notoriously make the old folks act unhinged, every time! As soon as my dad started acting the least bit off, I'd have him tested for a UTI and it would be positive. Like clockwork. Same with mom.

If your mom wants to preserve her memory, get her some crossword puzzle books and sudoku games, things like that which help keep the brain working. Cut down on sugar intake and keep active with exercise is also good. Alzheimer's is now being called Type 3 Diabetes and thought to be related to high sugar intake and insulin resistance. Who knows?

Hope some of this info was helpful. Good luck!

Document all the behaviours you see and have it delivered to the specialist marked in big letters to be read before appointment with Mrs x. He/she will then have some background and be able to work relevant questions in.

When I take her to the doctors office. After we are called into the room. While we are waiting for the doctor to come I excuse my self saying I have to go to the bathroom.
I leave the room, and I go talk to the nurse or doctor and explain that you would like to tell them what you have observed. Explain to the nurse that if you say these things in front of your parent they either deny it or gets upset that you told them.
then just go back into the room sit with your parent or wait for the doctor to come in.
And cross your fingers and pray you do not have to use a bathroom since you have already been!!!!!

Your mom needs to be seen by a neuropsychologist and have a completely battery of tests.  Depending on where she lives, determines available professionals.  If you want to email me, I will reach out to my colleagues across the US and try to find some recommendations.

I took Mom to a geriatric Neurologist, and although their tests seemed simple, it really helped us discover where she is with her Alzheimer’s. That way you know what you’re dealing with. My Mom refuses medication for depression or Alzheimer’s, so I try to respect that it is her personal choice. It’s too difficult to babysit her with regards to things she should be taking or doing. If Mom is eating everyday, not falling, and is safe, I could consider it a good day!
My mom has the opposite sleep problem, she goes to bed at 7pm, so she’s up in the middle of the night wanting breakfast! Hard when you’re in an assisted living facility..

I always type out a scenario of all of the concerns that I think the doctors need to know. My father in law lies directly to the Doctor and is so convincing that it makes me think I'm the crazy one. When I have the notes with me, I give it to the nurse and ask that they have the doctor look it over before he or she steps into the room. So far, I have had nothing but positive response from the physicians and my father in law's real needs are being met.

This is going to be a marathon, not a sprint so make sure you include self-care in your daily routine. I realize your life now is full of medical appointments and changes and not sure if your parents live with you or vice versa, but there are important things you should work on little by little while their memories are reasonable. As AlvaDeer suggested, make sure someone local, responsible and trustworthy is assigned their Durable Power of Attorney (someone younger than them). Also, Medical Directive, will, etc. I'm assuming your mom (and dad) signed the HIPAA waiver at the doc's office so that staff can legally discuss your parent's medical info with you. Also:

- the financial PoA should know their banking info; what investments they have and where the paperwork is; insurance papers; pre-paid funeral paperwork etc. Their sensitive information needs to be locked down so that it is protected against abuse and scammers.

- go through their photos with them, for fun and to write down names, dates, places

Your plate is full so that's enough for now. Many are in your same shoes. Wishing you peace.

When you speak of taking your mother to a geriatric specialist , do you mean a physician whose speciality is treating older adults? The reason for the inquiry is that an avenue to pursue with your mother is an evaluation by a geriatric psychiatrist or a neuropsychologist. These individuals have extensive training in the administration of various cognitive tests and will allow for more time with your mother as opposed to a regular office visit with a physician for medical needs.

I’d ask first who is her primary caregiver and second who has POA. Discussing these issues in front of her may not be the best plan. Write out you’re observations and mail to dr(please keep it short and to the point) before her next appointment. You’ll see a difference in some ways, they are working blind without info from family.

The mini test is exactly that - mini. It might not catch dementia or another cause for the symptoms observed.

Getting a good thorough exam is the best place to start. Observations are good to bring along. There are many medical issues that can present as some form of dementia and many of these are treatable. Reviewing medication would be a good idea as well. If it is early stages of dementia, many people can "fudge" their way through an exam or even the tests.

Before our mother exhibited signs of dementia, I happened to stop by her place on my way to work. She was in a miserable state and clearly confused/befuddled. In her case (we went to the ER and she spent the night in the hospital), it was most likely OVER-hydration. Often people consider under hydration, but drinking too many fluids can wash out the electrolytes in your system (keep in mind that the 8-8oz glasses of fluids suggested should include fluids you get from FOOD as well!) One of the symptoms of low potassium is "Abnormal psychological behavior: depression, psychosis, delirium, confusion, or hallucinations." She was drinking too many fluids. Once her system was properly restored (drip bags), she returned to her normal nasty self!

As for the mini-test: we recently changed doctors (it was planned anyway, but just in time as PCP retired!) Mom was given the mini-test (she is in year 3 MC) and couldn't pass it. Back when this started, she might have been able to squeak by. They gave me the same test when I had my checkup a few weeks later. Mini is the word! When I suspected dementia for what I observed, we contacted an aide agency so we could start with minimal (1hr min) sanity and med check . Before scheduling anything, they sent a nurse who did a pretty comprehensive test (covered by Medicare.) She made recommendations for a locked/timed med dispenser and other suggestions to get us started. The plan was to increase aide days/times as needed, but after a few weeks she refused to let them in.

So, be sure to have a full thorough exam to ensure this is not some treatable medical issue. Some of what you have described could be attributable to dementia, but could also be some other underlying issue. Just testing her cognitive ability may miss any other treatable condition.