My Mom is 90 years old and has been unable to transfer herself from chair to bed, nor walk for at least 5 years now. She is mild mannered, sweet, and never complains, nor ask for anyone to do anything specific for her. She has been in a nursing home now for about 4 years. Yesterday I went to visit her after she had dinner. The nursing home staff rolls the residents to the hallway after eating, then eventually go put them back to bed. I waited with her yesterday and she seemed very tired with her head bowed down. As we waited for someone to come put her in bed, she quietly said to me, "Don't get old. You end up being good for nothing." My heart sank. I feel so sad for her. Unfortunately, we have not been able to put her in the car and take her places for a long time now. The nursing home doesn't care to put her in the car because she might get injured. She can not help with her legs, so she is dead weight. We can not transfer her in and out of the car. They do a few activities in the nursing home, but other than that she has to be sitting in a wheel chair waiting for someone to assist her or laying in bed day after day. She doesn't like to watch tv either.
Would she be able to listen to books on CD, one she used to enjoy? Would she like to look at copies of old pictures book you used to read together? Could you tell her about the happy times you shared together? In other words, can you indirectly remind of her that while she may feel good for nothing now, she gave you a happy childhood and helped you become the person you are. I hope I haven't misread the situation. If so I apologize. " She is mild mannered, sweet, and never complains, nor ask for anyone to do anything specific for her," gave me the impression that you had a healthy family life growing up.
How often are family members able to visit her in the NH? Family members have hectic schedules and lots of duties for their own families, so, it may be that they can't visit that much, but, I would explore to get her more visitors. I know of someone who retained the services of a daily visitor to visit their LO in AL. They chatted, discussed family, hobbies, and it really helped her relax. She had something to look forward to everyday. I think she stayed for about an hour and I don't recall it being that expensive. Just something to consider.
Some of these agencies offer pet therapy, so they can bring small animals like rabbits, dogs, etc. I saw one story about a company who brings a pet pig to Memory Care facilities. The pig is lovable, well trained and does tricks for the residents. They love it. I'd just try to think of things that would break up her day, bring her some interest and something to look forward to. You might check with the social director at your facility too to get some feedback.
To Sunnygirl, our visits have slowed down due to icy weather this past month. I just talked to my older brother and told him he has got to try and get to the nursing home every week, preferably twice a week. He doesn't have very good transportation but I'm hoping he will take a bus. I am also going to try and make more visits. Her sister used to visit her about once a week but has stopped doing that.
We went to visit her today and took some soup and desert, she ate some, but not as much as she used to.