He had a TIA again. Woke up with no memory his family has passed (wife, sons and his own siblings and mother). He thinks his wife and kids should be living with him. This is so difficult. Alz Assoc says tell therapeutic lie but then he just asks more questions or argues. It's hard to tell what year his memory is in so the lie will work. Then he gets on the phone and calls relatives and they don't know to tell the lie.
When she asks about her Mom or Dad, again a gentle response. “Well, grandpa was born in 1896, and now it’s 2018, so how old would that have made him? We do the math, and she figures out he’s passed away. We agree we miss him and sing one of his funny songs.
She doesn’t get upset or cry, and seems to accept the situation, and then moves on to the next conversation.
I know everybody’s different, but I was just wondering if you try a kind version of the truth next time he asks, and see how he take it? It would be so much easier than elaborate fibs.
Why has he still have a phone? - if he can't remember his mother & rest of family is dead then he should only be using a phone supervised - also ends problem of him phoning those not in the loop
For my mom, I had staff go & unplug mom's after she called her lawyer 9 times on a holiday weekend & still couldn't leave a coherant message so her lawyer asked me to take it away [& sent a $250.00 bill for their time] - when I went in I told her there was trouble with it & it needed repair - she only asked about it once then forgot
So, for example, rather than you saying "oh, I think they're away on a cruise" or whatever; when he asks where his wife is, you say "gosh, I'm not sure - where would she normally be at this time of day?" Then you take his answer to that question and keep following it, step by step, until he seems to feel more oriented and/or you've been able to divert him to something else, like what he wants for breakfast.
The phone calls must be confusing for him (he'll get a whole range of answers, won't he?) and depressing/upsetting for the relatives, unless you've managed to train them; so I should try to distract him from doing that, if you can.
I’d suggest sending a “cheat sheet” to the relatives he calls with what to say to Dad and when. That might make it easier on everyone.