Not sure how much longer I can care for mom 99 and dad 85 with Parkinson’s. I have a torn rotator cuff. Need to have a knee replacement. Which I can’t have as I have no one to care for them and me. Scared I’m the one who is gonna fall and then what happens to all of us? Any advice welcomed.
Is your mom of "sound mind" ?
If mom is of sound mind have you told her that you are no longer able to SAFELY care for her and dad? And that they need to move to Assisted Living or Memory Care.
If neither is of sound mind and you have POA YOU can place them in AL or Memory Care. (whatever is best for the level of care that they need) This is a matter of safety yours and theirs.
If they are not of sound mind and you do not have POA then you will need an attorney (preferably one that is an Elder Care Attorney) and file for Guardianship. (If you do not want Guardianship then the State will appoint a Guardian and they will then be "Wards of the State" and the Court Appointed Guardian will make ALL decisions regarding their care and where they will live)
Also, do they live with you in your home, or are you living in their home?
I did contact a few lawyers about getting guardianship. It is a long process and it is expensive ($10,000 - $15,000). It also involves court dates and it can take up to a year to finalize the process. After talking to 3 attorneys and discussing the situation with my sibling, we decided and were advised not to begin the process.
I thought about getting guardianship because nether my sibling nor I have POA. My parents are declining and make extremely poor decisions (financial and daily life decisions). But it is their life, and it is their decision not to give us POA.
So they are falling through the cracks. It is extremely sad to watch. Sounds like you need help, I'm so sorry for your situation.
When we had to remodel my parents' house to enable them to stay there, I moved them to an independent living cottage in a local retirement community for four months.
Then, get your knee surgery and look into getting your rotator cuff fixed. If something happens to you, you are no good to anyone else.
Are your parents of sound mind? Medical and financial POA should be set up.
Obviously it can't continue.
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