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I help take care of a 52 year old woman who has had multiple back surgeries and is in pain daily. I provide the cooking, cleaning, laundry, doctor visits, shopping for groceries Monday through Friday from about 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. She does not pay me for my services and is now asking me to pay $300 in rent. I have also shown her how to get Public Assistance how to get the electricity bill paid through government assistance and I also been there for her during her mother's death.

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Tell her you will go out and find a job in order to pay the rent and she will either have to pay someone else to perform your "duties" or figure out how to do without a full time assistant. If (when) she throws a fit and tries to kick you out you will know how much she values you as a person and it will be clear just how unfair this arrangement has been all along.
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My ILs have a night/weekend indy aide. They pay her about $105K/year with all her hours. They have a day family aide who gets paid $65k/year also.

That's $170,000 per year for the services that you say she requires. However, she wants you to now pay $3,600/year in rent while doing this labor?
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gladimhere Nov 2021
Thank you for posting this Peggy, there are people out there that pay fairly and according to law.
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What was your original arrangement when you moved into this woman's home?

Were you employed to be an unpaid live-in caregiver to her in exchange for free room and board? If so that was a terrible decision but you don't owe her money.

I'm going to assume that the woman you live with is on disability benefits and this is how she keeps a roof over her head. That being said she probably already knows how to work the system to get some of the electricity and other utility bills paid. You clearly know how to. You would also know that you can't use her residence as your address because it will interfere with her benefits.
You don't have a leg to stand on and she can throw you out any time she wants. No, it's not fair but it is what it is. You have to get a job and move out. Until then if she continues to try and shake you down for money, tell her you'll report to the state that you live with her and she collects rent from you. If she's living in government-subsidized housing she knows they will throw her out and take her off the Section 8 rent assistance she gets if she has a boarder at her place. This should keep her quiet long enough for you to find another living arrangement. Good luck.
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If you wish to be alleviated of providing free caregiving services you will need to move out. If you continue to stay there (rent-free or not) she will always try to assume you into this task. She can't force you out if you have your mail going there -- this proves it's your residence. She would have to evict you. If I were in your position I would look for other full-time employment in this economy which is extremely favorable for job seekers right now. Move out and contact APS to get her on their radar if you feel she is a vulnerable adult so that a social worker gets assigned to her case and can help her.

By chance is she on opioid pain medication? The sudden "need" for so much more money is...suspicious. Hoping she's not. It's very admirable of you to donate so much of yourself to her, but she is apparently not appreciating it. I would move on. Things won't get better if you stay and you can always still help her, just from your own separate apartment and life.
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Girl I cannot believe you are doing this of your own free will. I would get outta there so fast, especially now she is wanting you to pay rent!! I don’t know your situation of how you got swindled into being in this, but please stand up for yourself. There are so many good answers to your questions, please read them and make some decisions that will be good for you.
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Are you a roommate? Or was this a business agreement between the two of you?
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If your agreement is you will do the care and get room and board free, then she can't change that. I really think she is nervy.

Actually, you are a slave. This situation has been discussed lots on this forum. There are laws in place for live in Caregivers. First, they cannot be charged rent. They must be paid at least minimum wage. Any thing over 40 hrs is time and half. Must have time off. An aide is not self-employed. So the person hiring them has to deduct taxes and give you a W2 for tax purposes.

Go to your Labor Board and get a copy of the law concerning aides. Then show it to her. If you are satisfied with ur arrangement, that's OK, but she cannot charge you rent. If she insists then tell her you will need to find a job. If that happens, you are a roommate and because of that, you will no longer will be able to do what you have been doing. She will then have to pay someone to do what u have been doing or find services.

An aide doing what u do gets at least $10/$15 an hour. At $10 thats $120 a day. Thats $600 a week.
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gladimhere Nov 2021
$600.00 a week if just 40 hours, but most places minimum wage is more than $10.00/hour. Time and a half for anything over that. and of course, no charge for room and board!
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No, it's not fair to you and you know it.

I imagine this situation started out as a kindness and suddenly one day you looked up and realized you were being had.

You didn't come back with more details, so it's hard to answer you.

As long as you stay, and stay quietly, nothing will change. Time to man up and talk to your 'employer'. I'd kind of plan that it will not go well and you will wind up out of a 'job'---but I do wish you courage and luck.
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Minimum in this area is higher than most of the country. The Denver area is over $15.00/hour, the cost of living is very high.
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