I have reached out to mom's Neurologist and her Primary Care Physicians and I get the impression that they feel it is a liability issue if they note that mom is unable to make decisions. Mom is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's and lies to fill in the "gaps". She cannot decide what her pain level is when asked from 1-10. I have decided to bring a sheet to her appointments, with faces showing pain and she selects from that. Mom lives in Assisted Living and refuses to use her cane, roll-ator even though she has an unsteady gait. She needs someone present when she's bathing to prevent falls. The facility says that if she does not ask for help, they won't provide the help. Mom is adamant that she does not need help, yet she gets flustered so easily when asked to decide about the most simplest things. I have mentioned this to the doctors, but I just feel I am ignored. My objective is to provide mom with the best care possible.
Try to just sit back and relax and wait for the disease to progress, it always does.
You could always seek a second opinion. Does the assisted living have a doc on staff?
At my mother's AL there is a schedule of 3 showers a week. It was determined she needed help with that. Most likely that help would be added to her monthly fee. It is a set factor.
You might try to tell her ( maybe over and over ) if she refuses to use a cane or walker she is at high risk for a fall which could land her in a nursing home. It took a fall my mother had last summer to never ever go anywhere without her walker.
One statement that is often made here is not always true, at least in Canada. A person who is mentally competent can have their POA take over their affairs. Of course they can revoke it at any time while they remain competent. My point is that a parent does not have to be declared incompetent for the POA to be active. I know of 2 situations where this is currently happening.
So, would your mother activate the POA herself? Or activate it in a limited capacity?
Check your document...
Can you contact APS and report that she is being financially exploited? Being without food and giving the grocery money away goes a long way in proving that she is doing this under duress and potentially doesn't have the mental capacity to see this is harmful to her.
Have you tried telling your brother to stop asking because mom is going hungry because he's a useless deadbeat still sucking from his mommy. Sorry, this behavior is abusive and he obviously doesn't care, that in my book makes him pond scum.
Does your DPOA state when it goes into effect? If not, it is probably effective now. The thing is, it doesn't give you power over her to make her do things she doesn't want. It gives you the ability to act on her behalf and that is open to interpretation as to what is and isn't appropriate.
Good luck, it is a rotten situation and I hope that you can help her.
The EFFECTIVE DATE is usually immediate unless stated otherwise in the "Special Instructions". What does your Mom's DPOA document state? Does it state that it is effective immediately or that it is effective only when _________________ conditions are met?
If the effective date is immediate, then you can "invoke" the Durable POA today. You do not need a doctor to declare your Mom as being incompetent in order for the POA to take effect.
Here are some websites to copy and paste to your browser.
https://www.ohiobar.org/public-resources/commonly-asked-law-questions-results/law-facts/law-facts-financial-powers-of-attorney/
http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/1337.60v1
Uniform Power of Attorney Act (sections 1337.21 to 1337.64 of the Revised Code):
This power of attorney is effective immediately unless I have stated otherwise in the Special Instructions.
https://www.lawserver.com/law/state/ohio/oh-code/ohio_code_1337-60
If you have questions about when the Durable POA goes into effect, then you need to talk with an attorney. Legal Aid or the Ohio Bar Association should be able to read your Mom's Durable POA and tell you what your duties are and when you can do those duties.
Since then we have had definitive test. All the tests. Jeeze. Look up the FAST test. That is the one.
Once they get in throes of dementia, it is the definitive one. It is what hospice uses for dementia.
Functional ASSESSMENT testing tool
ETA. we have had SO SO many tests. The fast test gives you a scale. Of where they are. Given the number we had, it is the one I rely on. Abilities. And stages. It gives you some time line view of what you can expect. I don't know why PCP are so lame. But they are.
Eta yet again.
Medicare and supp paid the 77k. And she was in skilled nursing for first month in memory care. I was just gobsmacked it cost that much.