There’s not been any report/notification from the facility ever about her trying to escape from the facility or her being disruptive until today out of curiosity what can I do to help get her out of this situation and get her back to a safe, secure place?
In your shoes, I would call the State Ombudsman tomorrow and ask for help navigating this.
You don't want to show up the the NH your mom is in ranting about "lying". I believe you want to ask to see documentation of the incidents they are reporting and ask why, as her POA, they weren't reported to you. (I'm going to assume you have POA).
You also want to find out what steps they have taken to keep your mom safe.
If indeed your mom has had a sudden change of mental status and is suddenly trying to escape and is combative, make sure she is checked for a Urinary Tract Infection. These can cause psychiatric symptoms in elders.
Why are you planning to move mom,?
If you are the POA they should also notify you so you have the opportunity to correct the situation.
I have seen this happen before as the home does not want to lose the income.
I had a similar experience with my mother when we were in the hospital with her broken hip. I did not realize that the group in the hospital who had taken responsiblity to locate nursing home care for her were undermining that effort by describing her as "trouble to care for" when they contacted various nursing homes. It was only when I called those same homes directly and asked why they were rejecting her that I found out what the hospital was doing. The additional irony is that when she was causing that "trouble" it was the result of drugs they were giving her, until I stopped them.
I would suggest you look at this from a legal standpoint, rather than trying to determine whether or not they are telling the truth. A serious conversation with the management at her current nursing home might put them on notice that they do not have the authority to reveal any of her medical issues to anyone else without your permission. If they say you have given it, put in writing that you are rescinding it and that you not long authorize them to speak to others regarding her condition.
This was one of the best things we were able to do for my LO when she entered memory care.
Placed on a very small dose of soothing medication, she learned to enjoy her surroundings and until COVID, did very well.
Whatever happens moving forward in your mom’s case, an objective diagnosis of her behavior will always be helpful dealing with placement.
Your best thing would be to tell the new facility that if escape was ever tried or contemplated you were never informed of same.
At the same time, if a locked facility is the one being investigated as the new home, I cannot see that it much matters. I agree with others below that your best chances of a solid placement is a full assessment to take to new facilities.
Is current NH willing to keep her on or are they kicking her out? What do the contemporaneous reports say? No reports? Why not?
if the facts are as you say, you should be able to knock this down pretty quickly.
It seems odd that a nursing home would want to restrain someone from going elsewhere voluntarily IF the resident engages in what the NH claims is bad behavior. Something seems amiss. I would bring this to the attention of the Administrator of the potential new NH.
As others have said, the NH's allegations about her have to be documented. Of course, they could have the documentation - even fabricated. Lying and essentially doing anything to avoid liability is part of the NH playbook in many facilities. If there is no documentation re their claims, or if it looks fabricated, I recommend getting an attorney involved (see www.naela.org).
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