My father is 99 and I just moved him across the country to live with me. He was living in Squalor as he couldn’t care for himself. My sister wanted to leave him there. She is wealthy and I’m not. I’m going into debt caring for him. At his age his resources are limited. She won’t help at all. And to make it worse she’s on everything so I can’t make a decision without her signature. My dad left the house to us and put it in both of our names but she won’t sell it. So I’m working long hours, paying for elderly care in my home, and I’m negative each month. I don’t know what to do. I can’t afford an attorney and she would have a top notch one anyway. Can I save receipts for his care expenses and at least get reimbursed when he passes? My sister won’t go for it but if at least know I have some rights or recourse I could get a 2nd mortgage on my house or something. Love my dad and am so grateful I get to spend this time with him but I’m so overwhelmed and can’t make any decisions to help! I do have POA for his medical and can pay his bills and things. He hasn’t given me access to his savings though so I’m just getting his very small monthly which is going to maintain his house (that my sister won’t sell!!!). Thanks for your input!
If you have POA for your father's medical and welfare decisions, then your decision that he was not thriving at home and required a higher level care was legitimately taken and you should not be paying for his in-home care. You can't claim compensation for your own time or work, but you certainly can claim for agency or professional fees.
What was your sister's objection to removing your father from his home?
If he’s moved to another state to live with you, so he’s a legal resident of your state, then usually probate is opened in state of his death. Would he actually have any Estate? It reads that the house was already moved into both you & Sissys name, so that’s not an asset anymore. Any $ anywhere else? If not, there’s nothing to probate.
But later in your posts, you mention his using “his $ to maintain his house”.
So exactly what is the legal ownership on the house???
And who exactly is paying all of the many many property expenses???
If house already moved out of dads name, then what I’d more concerned about is your share of ownership on the house. If Sissy is paying all or some of the property costs, & if she wanted to be very pit bullie with you, she could place a lien on your share of the property for all costs paid by her for your share. If it was moved out of dads name properly then it has no more of his elderly homestead exemptions. Taxes on it could be significant, plus insurance, upkeep, etc. If this is a lower value house, a few years of her paying your share could wipe out your share of ownership. This is often done to remove a non performing owner from jointly owned real estate. You might want to think about having house forced to go to sale or have Sissy buy out your share, and do this ASAP. You need a real estate atty to do this & needs to be atty in the state where house is. The good part is that atty can be paid from house sale proceeds.
The bases for the taxes will be the price that your Dad paid for the house. And sometimes there would be a Gift Tax that Dad would need to pay depending on the value of the house.
If only your Dad would have left the house in his Will, instead. Less complicated tax wise.
Now, when the time comes and Dad passes, chances are his estate will go into Probate. You could try saving all the receipts that you paid for out of your own pocket, and present those to the Probate Judge. The Judge may or may not take those receipts into consideration. It's worth a try. Put everything into a 3-ring binder. Copy of the bill along with the copy of the check. I use to put the check onto top of the receipt so I would only have one page to deal with.
Can your sister buy out your share of the house? That would solve a lot of financial issues that you have. If sister says "yes", then the both of you need to agree on a licensed Appraiser to give you both the market value on the house.
Why isn't your rich sister taking care of him?
Is he competent to sign an agreement between the two of you? I would suggest getting a lawyer if you go this route.