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She is competent. I am her poa. I am getting so into debt.

Never use your money to prop up an elder. Your money is for your golden years and for your rainy days.
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Reply to anonymous1784938
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Paiger49 Oct 25, 2024
And what if I signed all the paperwork in my name 😒
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Being POA does not obligate you to pay for anything for the person, only to make decisions in their best interests when they cannot. Their funds pay for their needs. If your mother doesn’t have money to meet her needs, that’s when social service programs such as Medicaid come into use. You can choose to resign as POA, but don’t confuse paying for things with being POA
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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You should not be paying ANY of your funds EVER for another. What will you do when you don't have a whole lifetime of savings for your own aging? You will be where she is. Who will pay for YOU?

That said, your mother is competent. You are her POA, but you can resign that today with a simple letter of notification to your mother that you resign as her POA. That's all that is required when the principal is competent.
You mother then can appoint another family member or a friend as her POA.
POA doesn't mean that you have to pay for anything, and I am certain you understand that.

As to the state taking over for your mother?
Why in the world would the state "take her over?"
She is competent.

Simply resign your POA and tell your mother you cannot afford to give her more money. If she loses housing or some such she should call Adult Protective Agency or local council on aging. You are not responsible for your mother.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I agree with the others. Just send a note stating you are giving up POA to the attorney and your mom. I did this with my aunt. It was driving me crazy. Would you believe my family and my aunt thought that I should be paying for things? Not everything but SOME things. Aunt even sent the caregiver agency my way to pay for her. I told them absolutely no. She was responsible and she knew I had no access to her finances, so I didn't understand why she sent them my way to pay.
I tell you, I will never accept POA for another person. I hadn't accepted hers. It was thrown on me without asking. If you find it to be a burden, give it up.
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Reply to Tiredniece23
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POA does not mean you are responsible financially or physically. Your responsibility is to handle the principles finances so bills get paid. You are not at the principles beck and call.

If Mom is competent, then she handles her own affairs. POA does not even come in till she is incompetent. I had immediate with my Mom. I felt it was a tool I could use to help her when needed. When she was diagnosed with Dementia, I did not have to worry about having a doctor declare her incompetent. I was able to do what needed to be done.

What are you paying for to keep Mom afloat? Does she still have a house? Maybe time to downsize. Her SS not enough? There is Supplimental Security Insurance that may help her. Your Social Service office can help you there also with resources. Your Office of Aging too.
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Paiger49 Oct 25, 2024
Her assistant living and now nursing home. Assistant living ended up increasing over $1000 a month more than what she brings in and nursing home is harassing me because medicad has not picked up yet.
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Don't give them a dime of your own money! Do not take her home with you either. Call the ombudsman, and APS. Tell them you are unable to care for her, that you don't have the resources or time. If you did somehow sign you would be financially responsible, it is possible the AL facility will sue. If that happens, fight it. Don't let them intimidate you, but if they do sue make sure you go to court and argue your case. Bankruptcy may be an option down the road, it all depends on the situation. Before that may or may not happen though contact APS and the ombudsman and tell them the situation, but do not take her home and do not go broke yourself.
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Reply to mstrbill
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