My mom lived with me for 6 years. I did not charge for her care. She kept her social security check $1400/mo. She was functional but had (not diagnosed) early dementia. She had a checking and savings account with a substantial amount of money (estimated $275K combined). There are 4 siblings and one sibling is listed on the checking and one sibling is listed on the savings, the other sibling had total use of her 2013 Mercedes (no loan, paid for in cash) as if it was his own. The vehicle has a value of 13K today. The vehicle is still in my mom's name. He thinks the car should be his free and clear claiming it's been in his possession all of this time. The other siblings are more financially stable than me but did not want to take her in when she started to show health issues. Mom passed away in August 2021. As a family, we decided to wait until the end of the year to make sure all of her bills were in and could be paid before distributing the money in her accounts. We are at the point where we are ready to divide her accounts. I ask them if I could have an additional $20K for taking care of her all of this time with no help from them and the fact that I did not take her checks or receive any restitution for her care. This allowed her to stay out of the nursing home and attributed to the increased balance in the checking and savings account. I was told flat out NO. Can I sue her estate or send a bill for providing care-giver services for the last 6 years? I live in Maryland and one sibling lives in Maryland. The other two are in Texas and Washington State. Thank you for feedback.
You should be darned lucky the sibs are splitting the money equally, because the ones who are on her bank accounts are by law the owners of those accounts and don't have to split them with anyone. (Let's hope they don't know that.)
Also, you should wait until a final 2021 tax return is filed for your mom before splitting the money. If any taxes are owed, good luck getting money back to pay them.
Seriously - the quicker you drop it, or offer it up, or whatever else helps you eliminate this whole train of thought, the sooner you will recover from the emotional ordeal you've been through.
Did all of your siblings give you a flat no? - were they in agreement among themselves? And did they show their reasoning? I realise these questions contradict the advice I've suggested, but I also know from experience how hard it is to do that! Hugs to you.
Normally for intestate, the heirs get an atty in the state & county she died in to establish lineal heirship…. It’s not necessarily difficult… it’s more a matter of finding out marital history, children born and doing a call out via publications for anyone to challenge the supposed heirs. And the atty does a accounting of the assets & claims against the estate then distribution to the heirs after claims dealt with. It’s all done according to probate law and takes anywhere from 6 mos to a year to suss out.
You do not mention attorneys or probate, so It sounds like this is not at all happening. If getting an atty to do a lineal heirship did not happen, here’s my guess at to what’s happening:
A Sibling was signatory and POD (pay on death) on the checking acct, so technically it’s theirs… it passed to them outside of probate. Another sibling was the same on the savings account. So none of that money in the checking or savings needs to be share at all. It’s theirs, they own it. That they are actually paying moms debts and want to divvy up what’s left is a nice gesture that they do not have to do. Again if they each are POD on those accounts, it’s theirs, they do not have to share.
Could this be it? If so, it’s not fair but they are sharing equally what’s left. This is the same point that MJ & Alva posted about.
The car is different if titled in only moms name. So if brother wants to get it into his name, he’s going to need a way legally to do this. If Maryland allows for a Muniment of Title to be done, he could do one. Muniment are a way to transfer real property (car, land, house) easily. Texas allows for Muniment & it runs abt $800. If the sibling in TX has the car in TX & a death certificate, I bet he could do one. Or he could just let the car continue as it is now…. he drives it, garages it and it stays in her name. He pays registration, insurance & maintenance and doesn’t bother to get title transferred. Folks do this all the time. 13K on a Benz is on the low side, bet it has a lot of mileage.
Perhaps other 2 would be willing to deducted 13k from car brothers final share? And split it 3 ways. Realize he could get an appraisal done that gets it even lower in value, if he wants to be a dick.
Dead or alive trying to be paid after the fact imo is near to impossible if there is no contract, no agreement. There was 6 years in which a contract or pattern of payment for caregiving could have been done. Nevertheless one could file a claim against an Estate and then the Executor can either accept it or ask you to provide documentation as to why it’s valid & if you have nothing it gets tossed out. But if probate is not opened, which is what it sounds like, there’s no probate opened / no Estate to file against.
If you insist on doing something, meet with a probate attorney who does litigation (most probate guys do not do litigation) to see if there is any possible way to file a claim at this point in time.
I would think the car is part of the estate if the title is in your mom's name. It should either be sold and that money put into the shared amount or sibling pays off what is due to the other beneficiaries.
It's a shame family caregivers -- specifically the sibling who steps up and gives years of care and hard work -- so often seem to get screwed when a LO passes.
It's no consolation I'm sure, but I hope your post and the replies serve as a helpful warning for other family caregivers. It's so very important to have a contract in place.
If you can be more specific about all out of pocket expenses (with receipts), consumption of utilities (% share divided among residents) from bills, damages and depreciation arising from care, at least you can realise the costs absorbed (as opposed to receiving a legacy).
When classified as reinstatement of your loss, this may be looked upon more favourably as, while you may not be entitled to a windfall, you should not be financially impacted without reimbursement.
If still dismissed by siblings, presenting such a case may carry more weight in any claim you wish to pursue legally, BEFORE the estate is settled.