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Two years ago I was in group therapy to help with my depression and other problems, one time I had a relapse and my therapist told my parents about it. When I got home my mom was upset with me, like an ‘I’m angry upset’ kind of way yk? we were talking about what happened and why it lead to this happening, and at one point I had gotten more upset because I felt like every time I tried to explain my feelings or my situation my mom would always add her input or compare what she went through to my situation. ( i realized like a while ago that shouldn’t be upset about these things. I’m talking about past me) I got really really upset because past me thought I couldn’t just vent or talk about anything about my feelings without being interrupted or feeling like I couldn’t talk without my feelings being compared to. So my natural reaction at that time was to get angry and yell, as I had these feelings pent up for a while, the next thing I knew my dad was yelling at me to not to talk to my mom like that and that I should calm down. Later after all that during one of my family checks with my therapist and my mom she mentioned how I had yelled at her like a monster, after that my brain stopped processing anything else. From then on when ever I got upset or angry and Im about to yell I remembering how my mom called me a monster because I yelled at her. and every time I get upset with someone and I feel like yelling at them I keep having thoughts that keep saying that I’m a monster for how I am acting or for how I’m feeling. And the memories of my mom saying that to my therapist would appear and won’t go away. So I guess what I’m trying to ask is why does this keeping happening? Is this a normal thing that happens and Am I a monster?

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You need to learn how to react to an opposing opinion without yelling.
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This really is a forum for people caring or have cared to elderly loved ones. We share our experiences. We are not therapists. I agree that maybe you need one on one. And stop trying to explain to your parents how you are thinking or feeling. Maybe once you can do some kne on one, you can do a family session.
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No, you are not a monster. It sounds like you are an emotionally immature adult who has never learned how to be an adult.

Why would the therapist even discuss anything you say with your mother unless you're in group therapy with her? Do you know how ridiculous this sounds? To be an adult in therapy with your mother? Have some respect for yourself.

Let me guess, do you also live with your parents? SMH...

You know what? I'm going to give you the best therapeutic advice you could ever receive and no therapist is ever going to tell you this.

Grow the hell up. Stop blaming mommy and daddy for your problems and take some steps to learn how to cope with your depression and other issues like an adult. Therapy can help, but you have to put the work in. It's time for you to fly the nest and get a life of your own. I guarantee if you do, your mother's interrupting and comparing won't be such a big thing. You won't have so much misplaced rage either. Get out of your parents' house.

I wish being called a monster was the worst thing my mother ever called me. Being called a monster by my mother is practically a compliment.
As for your father going after you for how you yelled at your mother, he was right. That's his wife and no man worth his salt lets anyone scream at and disrespect his wife like that. Not even their kids.

I have a son in college who lives at home. He has respect for his parents. If he ever yelled and screamed at me he would get a world-class a$$-whooping from his father who would have to get behind me because I'd be giving him one first.

You need to grow up.
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Unless you've been featured on The Crime Network as a serial killer, I'd say you're not a monster.

Get yourself a private therapist and keep your parents out of your personal sessions.

Best of luck learning to love yourself.
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I grew up in an Italian-American culture. Yelling was an every day thing for us. No one thought anyone else was a monster. We don't stay mad at each other after the yelling. It's all relative. Also, are your parents elderly? Are you their caregiver? Not sure this is a caregiving issue (which is the focus of this forum) or why you're posting here. Here's some free (and freeing) advice for you: stop caring so much about what other people think about you.
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NYDaughterInLaw Apr 3, 2025
I read this in the voice of Sophia Petrillo.
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No, you are not a monster. But no, you should also not yell at people. So what your mother said is working in that it prevents you from yelling at people, which is a good and successful thing. But at the same time, the monster image and memory of your mom saying that is bothering you and undermining your self-esteem. So talk with your therapist about finding a more pleasant, less triggering way to keep yourself from yelling at people. If you don't trust your current therapist, look for a new one. Also, explore the possibility that you have some OCD, because of the memory of your mother saying this to you is becoming a recurring intrusive thought. I wish you well in getting these issues sorted out so you can enjoy a calm life without intrusive thoughts.
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You’re not a monster. Your parents aren’t the ones to discuss your problems with. You should discuss them with a therapist who is more qualified to help you. I hope you’re able to do that, and I wish you luck.
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AlvaDeer Apr 3, 2025
Amen. Discussing these problems with parents is going to lead to a whole truckload more problems. Parents make the worst therapists. This is all about getting a good, competent, cognitive therapist IMHO.
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