She is able to get around for the most part and has all her facilities but her attitude and demeanor are just unbearable. We have tried speaking with her Dr. to maybe prescribe her some happy pills but unfortunately nothing seems to work. She lives with us and we have younger kids and everyone is miserable including her. She keeps telling us that she has had it and is moving out unfortunately I do not think she would have anywhere to go. This is actually more a rant than anything but any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Meet with senior center director by yourself and sometimes they have financial person that can help you find suitable senior housing or subsidized apt for mom.
Mom may be resistant to move but encourage her to at least try it and then be supportive with the move, inviting her to dinner or lunch a set day each week.
Short of that, tell her she must go to senior center at least 3 mornings a week if she continues to live with you and make her stick to it. You drive kids to school and drop mom at daycare or they also send a bus to your home needed to pick up senior. Or make her join church groups or volunteer group to get out of house.
Frankly, your situation is never going to get better with mom and something must change. Put you and family first. Don’t feel guilty.
But don't despair. Look on your mother as an independent adult and it will be easier to see that there will be options for her, it's a question of finding them. After all, if you weren't around to do it she would still need housing and support, wouldn't she? - and she's just as entitled to them as any other person of limited means.
I will just chip in a "poor mother" too. I really do understand how emotionally exhausting it is to live with a little black hole of negativity sucking everybody in day after day, but then again - what on earth can it feel like to be her?
I know you feel stuck, and finding the right answer may take time and sharp elbows, but you are definitely not alone. Hugs.
Cranky moods can be contagious - help her as possible but don't let her negatively affect your kids and the happiness of their home and childhoods.
Unfortunately she really has no assets or $$$ other than the SS check she collects monthly so assisted living is def out of the question and we have tried having her go to the senior center which she did for maybe 2 weeks and then refused to anymore. I honestly think moving her in was the worst mistake we could have made and me being the caregiver is getting from all ends, her, husband and the kids :(
If your kids are miserable, due to her being miserable, I'd explore a remedy for sure. It's not good for your kids to grow up with misery memories. Living with someone who is depressed, can be quite draining. I'd go with the doctor to work on a solution.