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Caregiver Bonus?
Hello, this is my first posting. I am really appreciating all the information and guidance I am reading on this forum since joining about 1 month ago.
My 95 year old mother just went into SNF. She lives on the opposite coast from me and I had only visited her once a year for the last 40 years. She had home health care everyday 4 hours in AM, 4 hours in PM for the last 10 years. Her 3 caregivers worked together as a team and were not with an agency.
Mom ran out of money a few months ago and DH and I had been trying to figure out what to do. We took control of her expenses, paying her bills and ordering groceries. We contributed 1000s of our own money to try to keep her afloat until either she passed or went into SNF and got Medicaid.
Now that she is in SNF her caregiver, who was the manager of the other caregivers, wants a bonus now that she is no longer employed. She either calls it a bonus or severance pay. DH is trying to negotiate with her. She wants $1700. However we feel that 1. It’s cheeky to ASK for a bonus. Isn’t it the employer’s choice to offer it, not be demanded to provide it? 2. We might feel more generous if we hadn’t had to contribute a large amount of our own money to keep Mom in her home and keep her caregivers employed.
What are your thoughts on this? Is she trying to take advantage of us? Thank you for your input. DH wants to do the right thing by her since she took care of Mom for 10 years.

She was your mother's employee. They know going in that a person could die or be placed and their job is done. Tell her sorry, Mom has no more money. As her daughter, you are not responsible for any debts Mom incurred. Severance is usually a contract thing. Companies usually give it when they shut down or lay off.

She is hoping that you as the daughter will feel appreciative for all her work. I would tell her sorry we had to carry Mom till she was placed, we don't have it. As far as I know, there is no law saying u have to give 2 wks notice or supply severance. Let her try and collect unemployment. Mom was her employer not u. You can say you have no idea what agreement Mom had with her caregivers. You only saw her once a year. And again, Mom has no money.
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elainesz Feb 24, 2025
That is true -- we have no idea of how the help was arranged. I assumed they were always prepared for the arrangement to end at any time as the nature of it. We are appreciative but yes, it has been a hardship we hadn't expected. She had told us that caregivers are in short supply in the area so she should easily be able to find another who needs her assistance.
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Yes, tell her they can file for unemployment. I assume they knew that the entry to SNF was pending so they could have prepared for it.
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JoAnn29 Feb 24, 2025
Can't if paid under the table. Have to pay into it.
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Be prepared for her to file an unemployment claim on your mother as you even called her an employee. I hope that taxes were being withheld and paid for the household employees. Depending on your states laws, you might have to pay severance. I’d check with a labor attorney as this could get messy quickly.
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JoAnn29 Feb 24, 2025
I don't think they will have to pay anything. Mom was the employer not the daughter. Children are not responsible for parents debts.
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