It's a little after 2AM. I live in a converted apt. in back of my mother's house. I hired a caregiver a little over 2 wks ago supposedly 24/7. She gets days off but it was agreed that she would be here every day from 5PM as mom gets up at odd hours (last night it was 3AM) gets dressed and is on her way out the door. Or like just now, I for some reason went in the house and she'd wet her pants and needed help. Lo and behold, no caregiver. What should I do with her?
Fire her.
That is Abandonment, and if she is an employee you have more that you need for recourse.
Do not look back, she will not change. She obviously put her boundary way out there, and was out to see how much you will tolerate. This means you tolerate ZERO.
NOW, the reality is that you have to spend all the precious time to find someone whom is worth it. Your mom deserves it, and obviously since you wrote in, you sound like a loving woman that does care for her. You deserve it too! Blessings to you and I hope that you are able to do this fast. It is a process, but in the end, it will be so much easier. Trust is the first issue, as a caregiver I know that they look at. Who is They? Anyone that hires me. That obviously is someone that does not or if she does has issues, but has few if any regards for working, and other peoples money, and more importantly, "the million what if's, and I am just glad you wrote in.
THE BEST TO YOU. She does not need two weeks notice. Since she lives there.
Type if you can a written letter.
Effective immediately July 25, 2014, your position as caregiver is being terminated.
In ____________ State, it is an Employment at Will.
Please see that your items and everything is removed from my mother's residence by 5:00pm tonight, Friday July 25, 2014.
Thank you.
Mary Jones
PS: What I would be very careful of, since she has pulled this terribly gross stunt so early on in the relationship, I would not leave the premises where your mother is, until she is packed and gone. I would NO WAY, LEAVE HER THERE ALONE. I would also immediately before I give this notice, look around for items missing, rings.
I find it hard to believe that someone that would pull this ABANDONMENT SO SOON in a caregiving relationship, HONESTLY, I PUT ANYONE LIKE THIS ALONG WITH THE THEFT OF THINGS, PROPERTY DESTRUCTION, ETC.
I am in NO WAY TRYING TO SCARE YOU. POSSIBLY THERE WAS A REASON I WAS UP TONIGHT, BUT SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE N O W. REALLY, I WOULD WORRY, AND YOU COULD HAVE AN ISSUE with "the vulnerable adult" being left alone, and you know about it once and did not take measures to rectify it.
All the best, and sorry to be or sound so aggressive, I really care, and you do too!!!
SORRY SOME MESS UPS IN MY WRITING.
Trust is the first issue, as a caregiver I know that they look at. Who is They? I AM NOT SURE HOW THIS WAS WRITEN THIS WAY. DELETE THE "Who is They?"
Trust is the (or one of the first issue(s) that people look at when in the first 90 days of working). I am a caregiver and anyone whom hires me, will know within the first month, that without a shadow of doubt, I am loving, caring, compassionate, look at the client as if they were in my own family, and always follow the rules. Of course this sounds very simple. But, I have seen the best of best caregivers, and the poor. It is a job, that some families do not want to or cannot pay the money out to, and that saddens me, but I know there are very good caregivers in every region.
I AM really sorry, for the wording.
Change the lock and keys..if she was given a key.
Barring an explanation that justifies her leaving the building without informing you, letting alone seeking your permission for her absence, you then put everything in writing and fire her. You also copy whichever agency you got her from.
You hired someone who is unreliable. You now have an unreliable person with a grievance and you're seriously considering leaving your mother alone with her?
Postpone your appointments, get on the phone to a reputable agency and find another caretaker.
I think it's weird that the caregiver goes out at night. What is she doing?
1. What State do you live in.
2. I have some ideas. $1,500 per month for a student that includes room and board sounds really great. It sounds like she works the hours that are at night. Studen'ts have an abidance of energy, and possibly if you found a nursing student, or go to the college and see if there is anyone wanting to get something put on their resume for the next 6 month's. I know many adult children that would jump at this. I will review back to see if you did put any sort of (nursing student to be, or aide would be perfect). When typing here, I can see and feel, you sound exhausted.
Let me see what else. Facility, correct. What about a 2 week respite stay at an skilled or adult living facility. If I new what state you lived in that would help, because I would pop on the internet. I might email you and ask you some more.
Also, like I said, you DO have the tiME. I am sorry for your ailments. BUt APS Adult Protective Service would remove her from the home if you stated that, and that is NOT a StrESS YOU NEED, I can feel.
SHE cannot afford agencies. You can hire a individual, which is where I do all my marketing, and yes, there are good candidates, and not qualified, and you set up an account, put your zip code in and write what you need. You would be amazed at what you get. I am sorry for your health, this is a matter of finding any family friends acquainted.
People know people, regardless of where you live. You need to write one thing, go around to all of your senior care and health care agencies ask them for permission "That diagnosis allow;
I will email you from your personal email page, and now, regardless, it is public information, and you have no choice. The sooner the better.
Make time. TODAY. RIGHT NOW. Appointments can be rescheduled; if they're more important than addressing this issue, then acknowledge it but don't pretend to be upset and irate and then present an excuse for not acting.
You've given her 2 excuses; don't vascillate with any more just because you've got appointments. If they're more important than your mother's care, then you need to rethink your whole caregiving role.
At-will employment should have been established when you hired her. If you gave her any inclination that her employment would be with you for a while, for any length of time, or represented anything other than that her employment could be terminated at will, you can't invoke it now in firing her.
Did you do a background check on her? If not, why not?
Ba8alou is right; get professional help and start working on Medicaid qualification today.
And for crying out loud don't hire someone from an Internet site.
At least that's the way it works in Michigan. Someone can change his/her address with the Michigan Secretary of State, w/o permission from the person who owns the property. It happened to my father.
Ba8alou, wouldn't you think that at sometime these people would figure out their tactics? Or maybe they're dumber than we realize. Maybe that's why - they're too stupid to get a job.
You fire her.
You might get a student to jump at the chance but they will be burnt out after a few weeks, then you will be back to square one.
I agree with ba8alou, maybe it is time for your Mother to be in an assistant care facility. If something would happen to you, then what?
Let this person go at once.