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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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It carries over to my own feelings of aging and no one able to help me if I’m incapacitated without abusing me. Sorry for this odd question. Remove if inappropriate.
I think that's a perfectly normal feeling when you feel utterly trapped in any situation, just as your fears about your future are appropriate. In the near future some counselling would probably benefit you but right now you can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255 and talk to someone who can listen to you without judgement.
Caregiving is very hard and stressful. I feel quite overwhelmed at times with all the responsibility that I have. I would seek a good theripist to help you through this difficlt time in your life. There is always home care, decent facility if the need comes about. I know quite a few people who are single, widowed and take care of themselves or hire caregivers, handyman, housekeeping services, meals on wheels to help them and when they no longer can care for themselves. There is always a solution. Try to live one day at a time and not worry about what might be. We might not be here torrow any of us. I do believe in preparing for old age but not to the point of getting depressed for something that may not happen. I will never allow anyone to take care of me.I plan on staying in my home as long as I can take care of myself and when the time comes and I can't take care of myself any longer I plan on going to a clean decent facility where the professionials can care for me. My niece tells me she will care for me but that is out of the question. She would drive me crazy with her pampering and all and bossiness. Love her but she will not be my caregiver.
Exactly. My cousin & her DH moved into a senior complex where they're independent now, but cared for until death by paying an upfront 'buy-in' cost. They have no children and have wisely prepared for their old age in the best way possible, with no anxiety involved whatsoever.
Sounds like you might be quite burnt out and need a break! Get yourself some assistance ASAP. Caretaking is HARD!
Get some therapy for yourself to help you deal with your feelings and CALL someone if you are every feeling truly suicidal. It's nothing to fool around with. Take it seriously.
Get out for a walk. Do something fun. Get in the sun. Pet a dog. Listen to music that you love.
It's past time to get your mother placed into Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing if you're suicidal after many years of caregiving. You are beyond stressed out and in need of releasing yourself from this overwhelming burden. Nowhere is it written that a daughter 'must' provide the hands-on caregiving for her mother for years & years & years! There is nothing at all wrong with placing a loved one into managed care and visiting them there in the role of a daughter instead of a caregiver. It's okay to surrender and cry uncle, too, recognizing your limitations and when you've reached your breaking point.
As far as 'no one able to help me if I’m incapacitated without abusing me', I don't understand that statement, so I cannot address it. My mother has been in AL and now Memory Care since 2014 and nobody has been 'abusing her' in any way, shape or form.
Please call the Suicide Hotline like Slartibartfast suggested & provided the number for, and consider getting therapy to address your concerns & anxieties in general. We all need some help from time to time, even medications, and there's nothing wrong with asking for such help. As human beings, we're all fragile and strong at the same time and need to know when to reach out to the appropriate professionals. Start with your primary care doctor for a referral.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Try to live one day at a time and not worry about what might be. We might not be here torrow any of us. I do believe in preparing for old age but not to the point of getting depressed for something that may not happen. I will never allow anyone to take care of me.I plan on staying in my home as long as I can take care of myself and when the time comes and I can't take care of myself any longer I plan on going to a clean decent facility where the professionials can care for me. My niece tells me she will care for me but that is out of the question. She would drive me crazy with her pampering and all and bossiness. Love her but she will not be my caregiver.
Get some therapy for yourself to help you deal with your feelings and CALL someone if you are every feeling truly suicidal. It's nothing to fool around with. Take it seriously.
Get out for a walk. Do something fun. Get in the sun. Pet a dog. Listen to music that you love.
Good luck!
As far as 'no one able to help me if I’m incapacitated without abusing me', I don't understand that statement, so I cannot address it. My mother has been in AL and now Memory Care since 2014 and nobody has been 'abusing her' in any way, shape or form.
Please call the Suicide Hotline like Slartibartfast suggested & provided the number for, and consider getting therapy to address your concerns & anxieties in general. We all need some help from time to time, even medications, and there's nothing wrong with asking for such help. As human beings, we're all fragile and strong at the same time and need to know when to reach out to the appropriate professionals. Start with your primary care doctor for a referral.
Best of luck.