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There is not a cure for alcoholism. It has been stuided an found that the cause may be some malformation in the brain that is indicative to develop alcoholism.
A very dear friend of mine born in 1960, alcoholic, had gone to 30 day rehab. The first thing he did when he got out was to go to a bar. He mostly drank cheapest beer he could find. About eight years ago he added peppermint schnapps to his regimine. A year and a half ago he caused a fire at my home, then decided to leave. He was found at the side of a highway a month after the fire.
He spent two weeks in the hospital on intravenous antibiotics which often cause sepsis in alcoholics because the liver damage does not process the medication correctly. He went into septic shock that caused brain damage then went into hospice. He died two months after the fire about a year and a half ago.
As hard as I tried I could not fix him. He was a good man and died at the age of 54. You will not be able to fix this person. Find alanon meetings and try to change yourself and the way you think about alcoholism. Enabling will not help at all.
I am a recovering alcoholic with 30 years continuous sobriety in June 2016. Let me say that it keeps 20 people busy to try to cope with one practicing alcoholic. Alcoholics Anonymous was and is the answer for me. On one can fix an alkie. The alkie and the almighty, however, and in my case, fellow recoverers in AA is getting the job done a day at a time for me. I echo the suggestion that you go to Al-Anon. Grace + Peace, Bob
There is absolutely no cure. It's really hard but don't buy it for them. Don't join in any secrecy surrounding it.try not to continue the codependency that happens as a result of being around an alcoholic. If al anon support group for families etc is not an option for you at this stage there's lots of info on the net and books. You need support to process this. You can only work on you and how you deal/ process the healing you need to go through. It can be heart breaking but the person with the alcohol issues needs to want to change. I've walked this road. The person around me has been sober for 8 years. I celebrate those years and am grateful for those years. For me dealing with the repercussions of the past seems to be quite a journey. Good luck with your journey. Trust me you are not alone!
Tuscon, everyone who has commented so far is right on. Alcoholism is an incurable disease that does not discriminate.
Millions of people have found a new life through AA though, as OldBob1936 said, it's one day at a time. I've known many people who have been in your shoes and have found Al-Anon to be a gift. Through Al-Anon you will be sharing your grief and frustration with people who know what you are going through. As with any group, it is made up of human beings. Some groups function better than others for some personalities. You may want to try more than one, but please do try.
Guilt for not being able to fix the problem is not an option. Gladimhere has a compassionate, realistic outlook. I thank you all for your helpful, compassionate answers. And Tuscon, blessings to you. Take care of yourself. Carol
My heart goes out to you. When my father died he had resorted to drinking cooking cherry, my uncle passed with a bottle of whiskey by his bed and my husband drinks every day and continues to insist he is not an alcoholic. Eldery alcoholism and drug abuse is a horrible situation. Continue to talk to him and encourage him to cut back.
Sorry if I seem cynical, but am I the only one who doesn't think of 55 y/o as being "senior" (in spite of AARP and other organizations that lower the age to gain members)?
However, I don't mean to minimize the problem of alcoholism at any age. Perhaps alcoholics don't live long enough to qualify truly as seniors?
Has he tried Alcoholics Anonymous? If he won't attend, you might want to find a local Alanon meeting to help you detach with love from your situation. I'm sorry his cat is being exposed to secondhand smoke.
One way is AA, another way is controlled drinking. That is treating it like medicine, and over weeks or months reduce the intake. Talking about it can help. The worst thing is hidden drinking and not being honest. Filming a person when drunk and showing it when sober, can help a person gain insight.
AA believes it's the first drink that gets you drunk. As someone who's been sober in AA for 44 years, I always keep this in mind. The person may need to detox under supervision before trying AA.
Al-Anon offers support for you from people who have experienced what you are going through. It also teaches what 'enabling' is, and how it actually helps the alcoholic continue to ignore the seriousness of his condition. Good luck, and God Bless.
It takes longer to kill someone with alcoholism than by smoking. He needs to stop both, but smoking is THE most dangerous addiction one can have and does more harm to the human body than alcohol. With smoking he can kill others with second and third hand smoke, with alcohol he harms himself first, unless he gets into a car and drives. Alcoholism is a lifelong struggle, and no one is "cured" from it unless they die.
There is no cure for alcoholism. The person has to decide by themselves for themselves that they don't want to drink and then quit. I am sorry to be so direct, but it is true.
Obviously, a person has to WANT to recover in order to join AA or another group which promotes recovery from alcoholism. If a person chooses not to, then he's chosen his life and will likely die as a result. YOU, on the other hand, did NOT choose such a life, and should find support from others in the same boat, via Al-Anon or a similar support group. Of course there is no 'cure' for alcoholism except for abstinence. Perhaps the doctor can prescribe him Naltrexone, or one of the other medications that curb the desire to drink, or make a person sick when they DO drink. But again, the person has 'gotta wanna' stop drinking & find sobriety to BEGIN with.
My brother in law is an alcoholic. He has had more DUI's than I can shake a stick at, has been in rehab more times than I can shake a stick at, and when he's not living in my sister's house, he's a tent boy. I have a good mind to notify the Pike County, Pennsylvania authorities to yank him off the road for good; that way, he won't be a danger to others and himself. I don't know if I can do this because I live in a different state.
My experience is No, there is no cure. My father was an alcoholic and smoked a carton of cigarettes a day. I personally think that was his way of slowly committing suicide. He was always miserable. Then, my oldest brother died of a heroine and cocaine OD, aka a speedball. The person can only be cured if they themselves no longer want to live that lifestyle and actually admit they have a problem and want to change. Other than that, it is about as effective as talking to a wall. Do not wring your hands over this, it is ultimately their decision and you must accept that you may have to be a bystander to a persons self destruction. You can put someone in a rehab but if they don't go on their own accord, they will go right back to it when they are released. I have not only had my own immediate family with alcohol or drug addictions, ( whom ultimately died from it ) but have known many people with these problems. Sorry to not be positive on this one but I have been there, done that.
55 is not elderly I agree but I think what you mean is a long time alcoholic. A person who has been drinking that long has to want to stop. There is no cure for the disease but like many other diseases one can life with it if they understand what it takes to manage it. For alcoholism the treatment is not drinking at all...as life said above there is no controled drinking for someone with this disease. After drinking heavly for 25 years it wont be easy but can be done. He has however most likely done much damage to his liver which cannot be repaired. You desire to want to help is wonderful but you cannot for this is one of only a few diesases where the answer lays totally in the patients hands. AA has helped hundreds of thousands stay sober but they will all tell you they are only one drink away from relapse. He may never stop, so you need to heed the advice of other posters and find help for yourself through AlAnon, reading, or perhaps removing yourself from the situation. It is a very sad thing to watch a person distroy themselves. I hope you find the help you need to cope and not be sucked down with him.
At 55 years old, one may barely qualify for the AARP card, (I am not quite 50 and I have it cause my spouse has it) but I am waiting for my senior discounts for AT LEAST ten more years....I know MANY newcomers in AA that are in their seventies....and I also know that there are other options besides AA that ALSO work just fine....one pretty much DOES need to stop drinking. Check out books by Terry Gorski, and check out the national council on alcoholism and drug dependence. It IS a family disease.....can lead a horse to water, can't make them drink...or in this case, stop drinking. Amazing how, when changing oneself, it tips the balance, and another person needs to adjust, or not.
Alcoholism in the elderly is actually a common problem, but often one that gets overlooked so much so that elderly alcoholics are called the "hidden population."
lol , cak i had a girlfriend a few years ago who told me she didnt like me when i was drunk . i told her i didnt like her when i was sober .,. it took more than one point of view to bring civilized society to where it is today -- for better or worse ..
However, in my case, my husband has cerebellar ataxia in addition to dementia. He has no balance. Drinking can mean deadly falls. So he can't have it, but he never stops asking for it. He forgets. SAD! I'm going to start Al-anon soon, but I don't know how much experienced they are with these sorts of problems.
A 54 year old who's been seeking treatment/a miracle cure for half of his life, and is now living alone with only his cat and cigarettes for company…
Well, would you go to an aging care forum first? The poster is either someone who is young enough to believe that 54 is old, which could mean child of the drinker or well-meaning health profession student; or has asked elsewhere and doesn't like the options. Either way, I can't believe he or she is seriously expecting answers.
i be - friend -- customered a gal last winter who vehemently insisted that her husband ( 75 yrs old ) died of alchoholism and lung cancer . after getting to know the gal for a while im convinced that he died because he WANTED to . what a money grubbing farce .. i feel so bad for her hard working husband . she was pretty and thats about all ..
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
A very dear friend of mine born in 1960, alcoholic, had gone to 30 day rehab. The first thing he did when he got out was to go to a bar. He mostly drank cheapest beer he could find. About eight years ago he added peppermint schnapps to his regimine. A year and a half ago he caused a fire at my home, then decided to leave. He was found at the side of a highway a month after the fire.
He spent two weeks in the hospital on intravenous antibiotics which often cause sepsis in alcoholics because the liver damage does not process the medication correctly. He went into septic shock that caused brain damage then went into hospice. He died two months after the fire about a year and a half ago.
As hard as I tried I could not fix him. He was a good man and died at the age of 54. You will not be able to fix this person. Find alanon meetings and try to change yourself and the way you think about alcoholism. Enabling will not help at all.
Alcoholics Anonymous was and is the answer for me. On one can fix an alkie.
The alkie and the almighty, however, and in my case, fellow recoverers in AA is getting the job done a day at a time for me. I echo the suggestion that you go to Al-Anon.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
Millions of people have found a new life through AA though, as OldBob1936 said, it's one day at a time. I've known many people who have been in your shoes and have found Al-Anon to be a gift. Through Al-Anon you will be sharing your grief and frustration with people who know what you are going through. As with any group, it is made up of human beings. Some groups function better than others for some personalities. You may want to try more than one, but please do try.
Guilt for not being able to fix the problem is not an option. Gladimhere has a compassionate, realistic outlook. I thank you all for your helpful, compassionate answers. And Tuscon, blessings to you. Take care of yourself.
Carol
However, I don't mean to minimize the problem of alcoholism at any age. Perhaps alcoholics don't live long enough to qualify truly as seniors?
Best of luck to you, my friend.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
i had a girlfriend a few years ago who told me she didnt like me when i was drunk . i told her i didnt like her when i was sober .,.
it took more than one point of view to bring civilized society to where it is today -- for better or worse ..
A 54 year old who's been seeking treatment/a miracle cure for half of his life, and is now living alone with only his cat and cigarettes for company…
Well, would you go to an aging care forum first? The poster is either someone who is young enough to believe that 54 is old, which could mean child of the drinker or well-meaning health profession student; or has asked elsewhere and doesn't like the options. Either way, I can't believe he or she is seriously expecting answers.
after getting to know the gal for a while im convinced that he died because he WANTED to .
what a money grubbing farce ..
i feel so bad for her hard working husband .
she was pretty and thats about all ..