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Mother, 99, advanced dementia behavior (no concept of date, time, travels in time, asks for parents, paranoia, combative, confabulation, no short term memory, very little long term, repeats herself, inability to read or write, incontinent) although it's an informal Dr diagnosis as she believes she's of sound mind and fought an MRI and I, POA, see little benefit in forcing one.



Formerly physically active and coordinated, angered while in hospital and lashed out, refused to ever move a muscle again. No medical issues found (checked for stroke, etc.). Stopped moving, had to be diapered, repositioned, IV fluids, spoon-fed, bed baths. Thought to be a behavioral choice.



2 years later: Raging again. Violent. Now feeding herself, drinking from a cup, using a shower chair (with asst), articulate as ever. But her brain is still broken. Refuses to cooperate. Only on her own terms.



We and the staff are dumbfounded. Months - too long for terminal/paradoxical lucidity.



I'm asking strictly out of curiosity.

My MIL was angered, upset and confused about going into AL. At that time she mostly had enough short-term memory impairment that she could not longer live by herself and needed more daily oversight than we could safely provide.

She was in AL for a while, even on meds, then simply decided she wouldn't get out of bed (not "could not".... would not). No PT, not incentivizing, could get her out. Refused to participate in community meals in the dining room, refused to go to activities, was mostly grouchy.

She had to be transitioned into LTC because now she was 100% immobile. Still was 100% anti-social (which was not her pre-decline personality). Then, gradually, the staff was able to coax her out of her room for meals. And then eventually to activities. We think she basically "forgot" why she was mad. I don't think she "relearned" anything. Just forgot to continue to protest or why she was ever doing it. Being social was something in her long-term memory that probably just resurfaced all on its own.
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Anabanana2 Jul 6, 2024
Yes. 100% immobile and 100% antisocial. I'd take her into the common room and we'd sit with other residents. "Oh, you're from Scotland, just like my mother's family!" She'd turn away. "Oh, you're a retired teacher too?" She'd turn away.

She's still antisocial, getting meaner. But physical abilities resurfacing 2 years later at age 99 blew my mind.

Incidentally, she is as articulate as ever. Still showtiming. Unless she tells you she's 19 and late for class, demanding to know why her parents haven't picked her up yet, you might not know she has dementia.

Edit: The only things she NEVER forgets is why she's angry. Ha ha!
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Anabannan, I'm curious how long has your mom been lucid.

I'm worried it's one of those annomoiles where before the pass they get better for a while.

It's just a thought, that I figured I should put out there
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Anabanana2 Jul 6, 2024
She's not lucid at all. Her brain is as broken as ever but she seems to have decided to sit up, feed herself, etc., again, after nearly 2 years of refusal or inability. She still has no memory retention, no concept of time or where she is, thinks she's a teen, very old or anything in between. Asks when her parents are arriving to get her. It is strictly physical skills returning.
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A male relative had early dementia diagnosed after a stroke. Previous to the stroke there were mini-strokes and also anger and terrible brief rages. He’d also had hallucinations before the stroke as well as aggressive behavior. A neuropsychologist tested him post-stroke and diagnosed intermittent rage syndrome and alcohol dependency. (This was quite a mess of a mix.)

I wonder if something similar could be going on with your mom. When someone has so many things affecting behavior, it’s close to impossible to sort them all out so all can be addressed.
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Anabanana2 Jul 6, 2024
The hospital scanned for strokes once she stopped moving (after she drove them nuts running away) and pretended to unresponsive. Found nothing physically wrong. I just can't believe after 2 years she has decided to sit up, feed herself and move. I half expect the next message from the home to say she's gone jogging!
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